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Showing posts from February, 2014

Warm and Fuzzy

So, I'm typing this fresh from Lux leaving the apartment.  It won't get posted for a week, but I'll explain that later.  I want to type up about the last couple days while it's all vivid still. This is the first Valentine's day I've had single in a very long time.  While it didn't get me down, it was still a little odd to think about.  Thrax would be at work, and then leaving as soon as possible to go to PA, so I'd be completely alone for most of the day. Well, Lux is also slightly more recently single.  A while back he had mentioned that he was upset that I was leaving before Valentine's, and when I asked, he said I would have made a good distraction from all the emotional stuff that he'd be likely dealing with. Then I wound up staying, and took this job upon myself to be his distraction.  I didn't think of it much, up until the night before.  However would I keep a hot sadist with a sex drive as high as my own distracted throughout th

Forcing Motivation

It's no lie, I should be cleaning right now. Creating. Adventuring. Or at the very least typing here about my adventures at Wicked Faire last night.  That'll probably be later today.  Maybe a video post. But no, not right now. I just found out my contract got dropped for the military.  Something I was looking forward to, to travel, and learn, and grow, and do something amazing.  To truly start my life in a way it should be.  And with a phone call, it all got taken away. So I curled up in a ball for a few minutes.  My buzz from the night before died, and I was mopey.  I still am.  I felt like everything was gone. I hate how my luck often works.  How every good thing, or opportunity fails. I sat on that for a bit. And then I got up, and immediately applied to perform at a few venues, and remembered what materials I have here to make things. This is not the end. This is the beginning.  I will do what I love.  I will create.  I will dance.  I will be something. It

What I See

I'm fairly certain that I mentioned this in my old blog, but I want to go into more detail with it here. Everyone is their own worst critic when they look in the mirror.  They see their flaws, and everything they wish they could change. Then there are people like me. The ones who when they look in the mirror, their mind actually distorts what they see, or processes it differently or whatever the fuck that happens.  And they find themselves hideous. I've got body dysmorphia.  Hardcore.  Every day is an argument in my head for me to not hide under a pile of blankets, covered in giant sweaters, and never let someone look at me. But that's not exactly the healthiest way to live. And I try not to let anything in my brainbox keep me from living the way I truly want to. So I still get out of the house, and I talk to people, and I live without it stopping me from most things. It takes a lot. And I know I must be attractive.  I have friends who tell me so, and get r

A Proper Introduction

If you aren't coming here from my old blog, here's a little about me.  Just in case you have, this may be an update for you. I am Loki.  Or Aislin, Rebecca, Demon, or a myriad of other names.  I almost collect them at this point. I belly dance, crochet, make chainmaille, cook, bake, draw, sew, and enjoy all matter of nerdy hobbies.  Violence is fun to me.  Making mischief is one of my favorite things to do.  I spoil my friends, and will go to the ends of the earth for them. The little things mean the most to me. Right now, I am most happily single, and trying to make my life as amazing as it should be. Running around in the woods brings me peace. I am a mommy!  I have a five year old little girl who is an absolute clone of me.  All of my attitude, spite and wit.  She's gonna be so dangerous when she gets older. I'm also a mono-amorous, polysexual, sadomasochistic, primal switch.  Sex is very important to my life, keeps me sane, and I am of

Turning Point

For those of you who know me, or kept up with my old blog, you have an idea of what has happened, and who I am. If not, I'll get around to an introduction later. Last weekend was supposed to be my going away party.  I had planned to go to Colorado earlier this week, and do body piercing, and spend time with other friends, and dance, and get into shape for the military. I went up to the frozen north, to spend the last weekend I would have in Jersey with my true family.  The people I have found, and who have stuck around, and shown themselves to truly care about me.  I had also invited a friend, Lux, up too.  He's a newer addition to my life, but he's proven himself to be a good one, and I felt like he needed to meet my family, because he would fit in well. The whole weekend was wonderful.  I got to run around and have little silly adventures, watch shows we all love to nerd over, beat on each other with latex weapons, and get everyone so much more drunk than they int