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Showing posts from October, 2014

Locked Up

The last few weeks have had such an insane amount going on, I feel like I can't relax.  I'm either going to perform, or have a thousand things to do, or have been helping Lux with the move. And all these things are fun, and productive and I enjoy them.  Don't get me wrong, I love keeping busy, but it's been so much I haven't had a break. Being home is more stressful than not.  My parents have a habit of taking their frustrations out on me, and use me more as an emotional punching bag than anything.  The gnome likes to try and dick me around, and any time I want to get out and do anything, it becomes a project just to make sure the beast is supervised.  It all adds up to me not being able to even clear my head here. On the bright side, I'm back to teaching again, dancing regularly by myself.  I already notice myself getting into better shape after a few weeks, and I'm trying to go back to my normal nutrition nerd ways to really feel better and hopefully

Simplify

A while ago, I had a friend randomly text me with a question. "If two couples go out, it's a double date, and if you go out with a romantic prospect, it's a date, so what do you call it when a couple takes out a possible third?" And I sat and thought about it, wondering why it needed to be that difficult.  Why we needed to label our interactions with others, and figure out ways to classify everything we did in their own little piles. My response to her was "It is a date.  However, my answer may be a bit skewed compared to many you would ask.  For me, a date is any time I'm out with someone, and we put the rest of life aside for a while.  No phones, or work, or distraction.  Simply time focused on the people involved." She loved the answer, and felt satisfied with it. Then I remembered one boy I used to work with.  He was a bit younger than me, but was constantly worrying if she was viewing their time as dates, or if he should consider them that inste

Reasons Why I Shouldn't Pay Attention to Porn pt 1

I love that I have a bunch of series on here by the way, just a random thought before starting this. It's been mentioned here before that I don't watch porn.  I get bored rather than turned on, and while I am constantly horny, I seldom find my mind wandering through fantasies (perhaps as a defense mechanism) though I will look back on some particularly fun recent encounters often enough. However, I do use Tumblr.  And my tumblr is pretty much just porn.  Small little images, gifs, and thoughts that I find attractive, or that I can relate to.  They usually don't turn me on than other porn would, but I find it more fun to take in these little tidbits and passing thoughts than actually sitting down to watch porn (which, really, I can't sit through a whole TV show, why the hell would I be able to watch porn?) There are a few things that I've noticed in the many gifs of hetero-fucking that I scroll through on my dashboard, and I know that nothing in porn should be

Confessions of a Female Nymphomaniac

You hear boys saying all the time that they don't get to fuck often enough.  That their girl turns them down on the regular, and how they wish they had someone to have sex with more frequently. And then I come along, and say that I always want to fuck unless I'm really sick, or totally mentally broken.  That I want to go as often as I possibly can, as hard as I possibly can, and as long as I possibly can. Those guys?  Yea, they're chomping at the bit, saying there is no way I could have a higher sex drive than they do, and that they can't wait to prove it. Well, one of them winds up being a friend, and we start fucking. In the beginning, they attribute it to the new partner craze where you can't stop banging.  The honeymoon phase in relationships.  But it doesn't slow down.  In fact, as I get more comfortable, I just want to bump uglies more and more frequently.  To top things off, one round with most guys is just enough to get me completely turned on, s

Acknowledging Comforts

This weekend was a bonfire to get rid of a ton of scrap wood my father had handed me, and told me to get rid of.  A few friends showed up, despite a lot of them bailing, but it was still a good time. Lux actually made the trip down for it, so we got lots of snuggletime, and he crashed at my place, which meant my bed was fantastically warm. It also meant a lot of sex, and while the weekend prior was fun, I did enjoy getting to have him to myself for a night, and getting to fuck him for as long as I wanted (mostly). I've also noticed that in the last few weeks, during our more private sessions, there has been increasingly more power exchange going on.  That accidental dynamic that we didn't really pay attention to?  The one that I know I mentioned about a month or so back?  Yea, we've definitely decided to dive into it.  It's just a step at a time, and honestly it supplements our normal interactions more than anything, but it's an incredibly comforting thing. At

Gathering Information

Last weekend I had a somewhat impromptu trip up to Lux's apartment with a mutual friend (the one I posted about a couple weeks ago)  to help him get settled in.  This of course also involved getting to break in his new place by fucking as much as we possibly could in every room.  I went through the week prepping a box of some things he needed, and plotting with him all the wonderful sexy thoughts that go through our heads every day. I have to say, I was a bit nervous at first.  Not even so much for how sex would go, as Lux is incredibly respectful, and often paranoid of me and how I'm doing, but of simply being around Nessa for that long of a drive, and then for the remaining time.  I often have problems being around people for extended doses.  This is especially true when I don't have other people to use as a buffer.  I however packed up my tablet to read, and my pliers to play with Lux's rings, and told myself that so long as I could manage the drive I'd be fine

Weird Things that Make Me Feel Weird Part... Five! I think

One of the things that contributes most to people mistaking my sexual orientation is the fact that I will still play with girls.  I am often heard saying that I love beating up girls, and have no issue tying them up, breaking their minds, or beating the shit out of them. And then when I say I'm straight, they just don't understand. Even when I offer to play with female friends, they don't quite get it. Because I offer them non-sexual playtime. For some reason, the ability to separate play and sex is such a rare thing in my area.  And sure, sometimes I want all the kink in my sex. But more often than not, there is no sex in my kink. I'm not talking about the occasional play session that doesn't end in me bouncing on a cock. I mean that a good majority of my experience with play barely involves removing clothes.  There is no interaction with genitalia, no smooches, no sex at all.  And this concept confuses the fuck out of people. Until they pl

How to get into my pants (an instruction manual)

Oh yea, that's right, I actually feel the need to type this up lately.  Never assume anything about me.  I will surprise you.  From the first moment, to years later, there will be things about me that you will not expect, and assuming the wrong thing, and treating me that way will only kill your chances.  Common things that occur with this are my sexuality, orientation, or gullibility. Don't try and get anywhere the first time we hang out in person.  Sure, we can talk sex, and play and all of it, but don't suggest anything.  I've got a very strict "No play on the first date" policy, and trying to break it, will result in me breaking you. No means no, but yes does not mean push further.  If I'm cool with something, enjoy that.  I'll take things further if I'm comfortable with it.  Trust me, I have no issue taking the initiative sexually. Make the first move.  Yes, this means after we've hung out at least once.  Even just a small comment o