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Drug Addiction

Of all the things that turn me on, one of the ones that I get to indulge in least is actually one of my favorite kinks.  It's something that joins into so many other things get off from, but I experience it so seldom.
Fear.
Oh dear sweet fuck do I love fear and horror and gore.
If something scares me, it's almost guaranteed that if a partner were to walk up and check, they'd notice me soaking through my jeans with how wet I am.  Actually feeling threatened and out of control drops my non-existent panties, and blood is far and away my favorite body fluid.

And it's a simple explanation for it.

I'm an adrenaline addict.
In all things, I look for a rush.  Instead of running to drugs, or artificial means of producing a high, I want my actions themselves to produce a natural one.
Pain releases endorphins that make me float and I'm instantly giddy.  Driving fast, fighting, hell, even the stage fright I feel before dancing elicit a high that I revel in.
One of my favorite things to do is dance until my legs can't hold my weight any longer, and I'm shaking, but I want to continue, just to keep the high going.

And this absolutely carries over into sex.  I love feeling the high of being beaten, or pinned down and fucked so hard I can't fight back.  A knife held to my throat to keep me still while being fingered will have me quivering and cumming so hard I feel afraid of moving too much because of the knife, and that causes more endorphins to kick in, and it all goes around.

And usually, I tend not to crash.  If I can float along for the first little while, I can continue to function and remain giddy until I level out.  Of course, I'm constantly craving more, and to find new fun ways to bring about the rush, but I seldom drop from it.

Perhaps it is just a drug.  Just something natural instead of ingesting some sort of outside substance.  Normally I have nothing close to an addictive personality though, so this may simply be an odd quirk for me to be this drawn to.

It leads me to experience so many things though, and to feel the drive to find so many more, and that is something I love, because I get to see and feel so many things in this world that others wouldn't think of, and that's just amazing.

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