Unable to be Anyone Else

I notice a lot of popularity in the scene tends to be around people finding space where they become someone else.  Age regression, Pet spaces, and other forms of dehumanization seem to be everywhere lately, and I'm never quite sure how I feel about it.

I know every case is different, but I never know whether to look at it more as having to remove themselves from a situation to embrace sexuality, or that they are so comfortable with themselves that they can be someone else as well.

I know that personally, I could never do it.  When it comes to my sexuality, and even switching, I'm always me.  I have to be.  I could be snuggled up with Lux, fixing him coffee, and kneeling at his feet, while giving tasks to another submissive, and never once feel confused or lose myself in the process.

I've got a lot of self confidence issues (surprise!) that may have become less apparent, or even barely existent over the years, but have impacted my sexuality as a whole.  I need to know someone is attracted to me in order to want to fuck them, and so any sort of role-play, or alternate space (outside of pain, or power exchange) actually turns me off, and freaks me out a bit.

I don't ever want to be someone else in order to have sex.  I spend too much of my life having to censor myself, and figure out how much I can show people.  When I finally do find someone I become friends with and want to have sex with them, I don't want to have to hide anymore.  I want to be myself, and nothing else.

It reminds me sometimes of how Thrax practically made me have to wear skirts, and lingerie, and underwear in order to get laid.  Preferably, I'd rather only wear underpants when I have my period, and even then I will curse them every day.  While I do think my legs and ass look good in thigh highs (which I have a ton of cute random ones) and a garter belt, I hate arguing with them, and wearing skirts anywhere near my family usually results in me being called a myriad of obscenities.  Not to mention having to be aware of myself at all times, because I still hate underpants.  I had to dress in a way that wasn't fitting to who I am every day if I wanted even a chance of having sex.

Mind you, sometimes I do want to be cute, and sometimes I do want the convenience of being able to simply hike up fabric and hop on a guy's lap.  This is usually when I already have other positive influence though.  Regardless, back on track.

And, I know, that at my core I am always me, and no matter how I dress, or how I act, I am still just me.  I don't want to put on an external of someone, or something else though.  I want someone to want me inside and out, to the point where otherwise really makes me feel shaken.