There's a lot of toxicity in my family. A lot of inconsistencies, untruths, broken promises, and negativity. It creates a shattering amount of stress, and is terrible for me in every way.
I enjoy being submissive because I enjoy taking care of partners. I love the comfort that comes with putting myself in someone else's hands, and having someone to give me the drive to grow, and make them proud of who they have.
But I absolutely can't have what I do at home. I need to know I should constantly be working to please my domlyperson. If I feel like I'll be ignored, or shit on no matter what I do, I'll do whatever I want, because there's no reason for me to be unhappy and get nothing out of it. I need positive reinforcement to counteract how I'm constantly told negative things.
While I don't need a lot, that stern, but positive manner is absolutely vital. It centers me, keeps me obedient (well... mostly), and does all manner of good for me. Things like contradictory mindfuck based on control will piss me off before anything, and ignoring things I do because you don't feel like reprimanding me will leave me feeling disinterested in power exchange at all. Not because I need to be punished, but because I need to know when I'm doing something wrong.
Even during play, I need someone who can buckle down at times, to keep me in line. Stern, positive dominance will keep me in line, and less likely to brat out, crack jokes, or fall into giggles. And while that can be fun, it has a time and place.
For me, power exchange is absolutely a case where if I have a dom willing to put in the work, I'll return the favor a thousand fold.
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