A New Devious Chapter

The next two weekends have managed to keep my mood from being total garbage lately with how things at home have been.  I'm really looking forward to them, and the positive effect they should have on me.  This coming weekend is Halloween, and Lux is coming to visit.  We had thought about going to something nearby, but from the sound of things, we'll just be spending time together relaxing.  The only thing we've decided we need to do, is snuggle up with blankets and coffee and be crotchety old people with pipes.  Possibly while handing out candy, as my sister has off of work specifically to take the beast trick-or-treating.  I also intend to do a lot of cooking, as tradition on Halloween says that when everyone is out harvesting candy, some food must be made which is easy to just grab whenever people get hungry.  Usually my mother would make hotdogs and chili, but I'm thinking a couple different kinds of soup, and bread.  Maybe if everyone is in I'll make a mountain

Recently, Kitty and I were talking about how we want to continue working towards getting into better shape.  He jokingly said he needs to find a good source of cardio, and I of course responded with saying he should just ask his primary to help, now that they live together. He responded by saying that it wasn't that easy, and that his sex drive is so high is causes problems, and that he's probably clinically fucked up for how high it is. Become super protective and caring of my best friend you say?  That's exactly what happened. I remembered him saying he had an abnormally high libido way back when we first started having sex.  Having had no idea what the "normal" range was at that point, and not knowing where I fell on the spectrum, I didn't realize that I was just as abnormal as he was.  He would tell me that it was causing issues with the relationship he was in at the time, and that he was used to it. And, I suppose this issue is almost expected for guy

I read an article the other day that had a ton of confessions about sex.  How people feel while having sex with their partners, and it was all very sad to see how unhappy so many people are with the sex they have. The most common complaint was that they get bored.  That they don't have fun with their partners, don't enjoy the sex, and so they distract themselves by going through other thoughts. And, this is sad, for all parties involved.  Sure, we should all want our partners to have fun, and do what we can to make that happen, but if they don't communicate, or just brush off the possibility of making things better, that's their fault too.  Admittedly, I got incredibly bored during sex with both Thrax and the gnome.  Not only was all sex this rushed chore, but it was the exact same thing every time, like a broken record.  And when you basically are just going through the motions like your morning routine, sex isn't going to be fun. Both of them also blatently wo

I've posted on here before that I don't believe in looking for people to fill specific roles in my life, but rather seeing simply what spot they make themselves comfy in.  I've described this to people as seeing if there is a box they decide they enjoy climbing into, and then they put a label on whatever relationship we have together.  It's why I frequently give people nicknames, rather than more traditional titles. Well, Lux came to visit last weekend, and while he was supposed to spend the night, he decided to just stop by for a while because of an issue with his parents.  While explaining to me what was going on, he referred to me as his best friend, which made me simultaneously incredibly proud, and cared for, but also a bit sad.  I always say that Kitty is my best friend because he was for the longest time.  It was the healthiest, most supportive relationship I'd had for such a long period of my life. And now Lux is such an important person to me, and for a l

Long ago, shortly after my grandmother passed away, my mother got my dad his obnoxiously huge tv for being patient during all the running around to nursing homes, and doctors, and packing, and legal stuff.  Well, when he picked one out, and it arrived at the house, the picture was nowhere near the quality it should have been.  We went back to the store, and my dad tried to return it, only to start arguing over return policies and crap.  My mother looks at me, leans over, and says "The boy in charge of the department right now has been checking you out.  You should go flirt with him, and get them to take back the tv." To which I asked my mom if she was on drugs, and ignored her.  For many reasons.  A significant part of which is because I have no idea how to flirt.  It would also be a seriously dick move to try and manipulate some boy, just to do something for my parents.  Story ends with someone else walking in, and explaining that the particular cables that come with that

With it now being fall, I've been looking at what I want to accomplish in the next few months.  What places I want to go to, things to make, and general ideas and goals.  It's a normal thing that I do with the changing seasons to keep organized. There's quite a few things I want to cook and bake now that it's cooler out, and there's a lot of things I want to make for the holidays, as well as some garb that needs repairing from Pennsic.  I should be able to get through quite a bit in the coming weeks.  Kitty and I are also pretty determined to get some time together, which has me incredibly excited, because we both agree that we let there be distance between us for far too long. Lux and I also tend to make up little to-do lists fairly seasonally.  We don't always tackle them, but they're things we'd really like to do together. And what does an adventurous partnership of sociopaths that indulge in power exchange plan for during the fall? Well, right no

Kitty and I were talking about playing the other day.  He has apparently become one of the most popular fire tops on the east coast recently, and we decided he should set me on fire sometime soon.  We talked about how it'll likely turn into a ton of giggles as soon as he lights me up, and we'll have to do more work to keep focused than actually lighting me up.  I also said that I likely wouldn't flinch at all due to trust. He said that given the giant gouts of flame he gets off of people, he would absolutely expect me to react.  To which I said I have a level of trust in him that the people he lights up at events would never have.  It's not the safe feeling you have with a professional, but the fact that I've been a crying mess in his arms and seen his panicked protectiveness kick in.  I know that if he ever did any damage to me, he'd never forgive himself. Like I know that no matter how hard Lux wails on me, I'm completely safe.  The few times that he

So, I've been kind of bummed lately, due to the state of things at home.  In order to keep from dwelling on the bad, I'm going to make a list of the good things that bring me comfort and happiness. Night time in the car A cigar and a cup of coffee Walking around somewhere calm with friends Watching others play videogames, and providing witty banter Simple food made well.  Fancy stuff can be nice, but I prefer simple savory comfort flavors. Cooking for loved ones The smell of candles lit with a match Hiding in blankets with a book Random silly conversations Comfy snuggly sex.  Even if it's violent, or full of misogyny, or whatever else, I should want to snuggle with my partner Flailing around to music Making something new Learning Helping friends Sitting outside in the fresh air Old fantasy movies Silly anime Violent anime Sore muscles, and bruises Endorphin highs Watching fire The smell of warm vanilla Being naked And I'm sure a ton more things. 

A few days ago, someone I used to talk to contacted me again for the first time since I kicked out the gnome.  We chatted for a bit, catching up, and just general bs. She informed me that her marriage had fallen apart, due to lack of work on both their parts from the sound of it, but I could tell she was spinning it in a way that villainized him, and as of the beginning of summer, they were officially divorced. She also said that on Halloween she's getting married again. Now, I know that it takes at least 18 months to get a divorce in this state, but a span of two years isn't really enough to get mentally clear of your last relationship (which had to involve courts and custody and extra stuff due to their son) find someone, get through new relationship energy, then decide on, and plan a wedding.  We also know my opinion on weddings, but that's less valid here, this is just solid time logic.  I think it takes at least a year to figure out how you mesh with a person.  Yo