So, one of my oldest friends has in the last couple years decided that he wants to open his relationship into a poly dynamic. He is interested in the idea of a closed poly situation, where the larger number of partners becomes almost like a supportive net instead of only having one partner to go to.
And in all of these years since, he's yet to actually put out the effort to try and find a third. He has no experience with polyamory, other than the concept, and things he reads.
I happen to follow one of his blogs, and with regular consistency he posts all this pro-poly stuff. And that's cool. I have no issue with it. But what I don't like is when he starts reposting things that regularly put poly situations above mono ones. Saying that monogamous, or monoarmorous dynamics are inferior or wrong. To spout this when he's been stubborning through an emotionally abusive relationship with one partner for over a decade now, is basically his way of saying he'd rather stay with a situation no one else is going to want to go near, than actually try and find this closed poly ideal.
No dynamic is better than any other one in the grand scale. Some people are meant for one devoted partner through their lives, some never have a serious partner, but a dozen casual ones. It doesn't make either one better. I mean, hell, I'm monoamorous. I have feels for one person at a time. That's it. Even if I have other play partners or important people in my life, there is only ever feels for one person. It's not society pushing for that, just how I'm wired. I'm not hiding anything, or just haven't met the right people. This is how my brain reacts. And there's nothing wrong with that.
And I have no issue with poly folk. Anyone who has the ability to balance and juggle feels and relationships with multiple people at once get credit from me. Even Lux is poly, and has always balanced myself with whoever else is around rather well. It is a very comforting thing that makes for a happy dynamic, and that's wonderful.
Shitting on something and glorifying the concept of something else that you have no real world experience with isn't cool though. Considering he has no idea how he'll even feel about it if it were to happen, that's where the problem is.
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