The friend I avoided seeing last weekend posts a lot on the Tumblr, which is why I saw all those rants about how Lux and I are horrible people every time we'd visit. While I haven't really looked at Tumblr lately, I hopped on to see something, and out of curiosity, looked through her blog there.
I saw one particular post on there, where she talked about how abuse is abuse, regardless of whether the other person "wanted to harm them". That affecting someone that way, whether purposely, or being unable to see that effect still counts as abuse, and not listening to person affected when they speak up and making those changes just cements it.
And, that's not a bad view to have. It's a very solid thing in fact.
Except that she'll preach it only until conflict of interest arises.
There were many car rides as I went back home with her where I'd tell her about shit Thrax pulled, and she'd just say "Well, he didn't mean to hurt you, he just never learned how to give affection" or "I'm sure he had your best interests at heart".
Oh yea, consent violations, ignoring limits, constant lying and going behind my back, putting me down, and treating me like I didn't matter is totally having my best interests at heart.
I'm sorry, but that level of hypocrisy goes way beyond normal Tumblr feminism, and makes them a liar themselves. So not only is their behavior verging on emotional abuse in and of itself, but she isn't self aware enough to know that she doesn't follow her own words. She's too caught in her mind of "my mom abused me!" Because she wasn't taught to express herself around people, and her mom got pregnant young and wanted her to be a friend, being a single mom with two other kids, and working from home herself. Her views are so twisted I can't even hold a conversation anymore, and now that she's hitting this hypocrisy, I'm pretty sure I'll be avoiding her for a while.
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