For the longest time my body had a sort of defence mechanism against my sex drive. Because all of my partners showed no real interest or attraction toward me for whatever reason, after about a week without sex, my brain would kind of shut that part of itself down, and I wouldn't think about it. It was better for my own mind to ignore that part of itself, because it wasn't like there were really options for me (for a multitude of reasons).
Welp, having partners that actually match my sex drive (some of the time at least) has definitely proven how much showing interest is important for me. It was about a month between seeing Lux or Kitty both, and while Kitty still sees me as an awkward teenager, Lux was very vocal about that timespan's affecting him as well. Those regular expressions of desire made that month rather difficult, and the distance wasn't helping.
And, it's not as if I didn't have opportunities with people over the course of that month. To which there's this odd conversation in my brain between really wanting to bone someone, and no one around happening to be a cute boy I like. Which becomes really interesting, and amusing, and somewhat frustrating on occasion.
More often than not, distance is incredibly disadvantageous for me.
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