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Not so Smooth

(Written on the train home)

So, I'm currently dropping from some last minute cherry popping, but I'll get to that soon.

I anticipated the week to be filled with a lot of time to myself, and plenty of snuggles in the evenings, with some play and adventures.  Lots of time utilized with Kitty on what will be likely the last time I'll see him before the move.

The Saturday before Easter I managed to get in a couple hours with Lux.  He was in a messy mindspace, but we had some good snuggles and time together.  I didn't want him to leave, and wished that after a month without him, I could have the night, considering I have no idea when I'll see him again.

Sunday was the long trek in the evening south, and by the time I got in, all there was time for was a quick tour, some hugs, and bed. 

The rest of the week, unfortunately didn't go so well.  Instead of time snuggled up, I had to listen to Kitty and Fox argue about their wedding, and watch him with one of his other partners, while getting very little attention myself.  The bits of time we got together all week were a stray half hour or so when he was practically passing out, snuggled up and hoping for anything more.

Any night that Kitty had planned on crashing with me, Fox would guilt him out of it, and it lost me more time with him.  The only thing we honestly had planned for was to finally pop my rope cherry, and I'll get to that soon.

Friday was the wedding, and they had decided on dinner at the location of their first date, with just over a dozen people there.  Met a ton of his close friends and found out some go to Pennsic.  Some of them are also friends with the dancers in the area, which was interesting.  However, the funniest part of this, was that during the actual wedding part, a stick was being passed around for speeches and such.  A few people gave very heartfelt and feelsy speeches about the two of them, and then I snatched it up.  As soon as Kitty noticed, his immediate reaction was "Fuck, please be nice.  Please?"  Which I'm pretty sure means that I was the one person there who needed to make a speech, because I had known him longer than anyone there had known either of them.  I was nice in the scheme of things, made it heartfelt, with just a little roasty slap at the end.

Saturday, which was supposed to be rope time after waiting all week, we wound up going to a market, and out to dinner.  Kitty got a ton of board games, but I was incredibly disappointed in the week at this point.  I'd spent it feeling like I was being ignored and didn't matter, and it was kind of a constant hurt.  And without any time to actually talk to him, it made it even more difficult.  We did get to discuss the plans for rope though, and the ground work he was planning turned into him asking how I felt about being his first suspension.  This was entirely different than what we had initially talked about, so I was surprised, but knowing to cover my based, had actually already cleared it with Lux.

So, we move to about five hours prior to this being written.  Finally with the chance to scramble me into rope.  Two hours to tie me before I have to leave for a train that would be delayed.  The tying process went interestingly, needing to alter some things to work for a tinier torso than he was used to tying, and figuring out exactly how to lift me up.  Being airborn was odd, but comfortable while I was there, yet at the same time being able to move made me want to move.  I'd try to sit up to give my neck a break, or lay back to give my abs a rest.  At one point, I grabbed my feet, and tried to move into an inverted bow pose, but it shifted the chest harness quickly, and although still safe, wouldn't have felt happy at all.

I was up for probably about five minutes honestly, and started getting lightheaded.  I don't even know why, but they had enough time to discuss the tie, how things were done, and for the two of us to celebrate crossing new ground.  I got let down slowly, and sat on the floor, before being pulled in to snuggle with Kitty.  He thanked me for being patient with the process, and after only a short minute, and some candy, I was getting dressed again and ready to go, even though all I wanted in that moment was lots more snuggles and play and connection.

I already know I need to talk to Kitty about a bunch of things soon, and hope to be able to get through it in the very near future.  I still kind of wish I had spent the week with Lux, but having that experience is something I'm reall grateful for.


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