I was thinking the other day, of how Thrax was so vehemently against anything he deemed to be submissive. This included things like doing favors for me, or even education in order to be safe during play. He would refuse to do things like self tie while I would do the same in order to teach him basic single and double columns, because he would swear it made him submissive.
And, really, this is just fear on his part. As a switch, I've always been very aware that any act has the potential to be done with any side of power exchange, or with none at all. Treating an act as though it can only be done one way, is going without looking at the possible fun in it. Yes, there is an obvious top and bottom to any act (unless, you know, the same thing is being done to both, in cases of mutual violence, or molestation) but to say that an act inherently gives or takes control absolutely makes no sense.
Things like when I dig my hands into Lux, doesn't mean I'm in charge. It's me asking him to hurt me more, and telling him that I think he's super cute. I know it's his natural response to hit me harder when he's hurt, but it's his decision to do so. If Kitty beats me up, it doesn't mean that there is any power exchange. Things are completely level, and if he tried to take any control, I'd knock the sense back into him.
The only thing that is inherently submissive, is actively giving control, and the only thing inherently dominant is holding it. Everything else just depends on the occasion.
Comments
Post a Comment