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A belated birthday

Eight years ago today there was snow on the ground, and more falling.  It was cold, but quiet and beautiful.  I remember sitting in the car, sore, feeling awkward, and still not like my body was right.  I was on the way home with the beast, less than 48 hours old, and still scrunched up in her green pajamas that didn't even fit yet.

The previous days had been insane.  My water broke in the middle of cake for my brother's birthday.  I found out when I went to use the bathroom, and because I wasn't sure, I went to check without telling anyone.  Obviously, because of this everyone panicked, and I was off to the hospital.

I didn't know it then, but I was apparently feeling contractions of labor.  Everyone swore that I wouldn't be able to function through them, but they just felt like irritating cramps.  Apparently, that's what early labor feels like.

At the hospital, the nurses are weird.  However, one of the doctors I like is on duty, and that makes it a bit more pleasant.  My family gets yelled for there being too many people in the room with me, and I have to deal with several of the most awkward feeling things that I've ever experienced.

When someone's water breaks, you get 24 hours until a forced c-section has to happen.  The beast decides she is going to take her time, and after twenty hours I get hooked up to antibiotics, after listening to the doctor yell at the nurses time and again that I'm allergic to what they grabbed.  An hour later I'm finally told that I have dilated enough for an epidural.  A woman is screaming at the top of her lungs while I'm having the catheter for it put in.  The anesthesiologist makes jokes about her.

No one tells me I can't use the bathroom while my entire bottom half is a warm fuzzy noodle.  I wind up being catheterized.  My epidural wears out once, and they do a half refill.  It wears out again as I go through transition.  I feel like I am dying, as all the muscles in my body start contracting and trying to push the beast from my person.  I ask why people would ever want to go through this more than once.  We are just barely short of 24 hours from my starting labor.  The nurses tell me I'm almost crowning.

A giant table is wheeled in full of tools, and the doctor still isn't in the room.    After two pushes I'm asked if I want to see the crowning.  I tell her no, and that I just want to be done with this.  After two more pushes, the weirdest thing I think I will ever feel happen to my vagina occurs, and the beast is flopped onto my chest.  She looks just like me.  Pushing only takes 18 minutes after all that waiting.  She poops on the nurses, and manages to roll herself over in the bassinet, which is apparently well beyond what newborns should even be able to do accidentally.  I am starving after not eating in a full day, and send the gnome for food.  The shower the following morning is the best feeling shower I have ever taken.

Not feeling something kicking at my ribs feels weird.  The beast whines if she is left laying down for too long, not because she is hungry or dirty, but just wants to lay in my lap, or on my chest.  The old man meets his only grandchild and officially becomes a grandfather on his birthday.  A ton of people are in and out visiting, and the gnome spends most of the day off drinking with friends.  His friends who show up wind up hitting on me, and it's awkward.  My family brings way more food than I could ever need.

And so, eight years ago today, I brought her home.  I enjoyed seeing the snow fall, and sleeping in my own bed after two days in a hospital.  My sister takes the day off of work to spend as much time with the beast as possible, and winds up spending most of the afternoon snuggling with her while I nap.

Eight years later, and she still takes over birthdays, and demands snuggles all the time.  Now she's just able to be more adamant about it.

Comments

  1. This was beautiful, with all the highs and lows. Hope you enjoy these memories. And Happy birthday to your little one!

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