I've had a major pet peeve with any partners and loved ones for as long as I can remember. Honestly, any time I've even seen someone else do it, it makes my skin crawl, and fills me with rage. The kind of thing where it legitimately makes me feel like they are less healthy of a partner when it happens. Unfortunately, it's something really common.
Things like "if you love me you'll..." or "Because I love you" or "Don't you love me?"
I've literally told partners that if they were said those things to me, I'd walk. I'd be done, and never look back.
I do a ton of things that show affection and how much I care. I am very blunt and blatant about how I feel with people. To bring any of that into question isn't funny, or cute. It feels and looks manipulative, and like you're looking for me to prove something, and I don't stand for that. I shouldn't have to prove anything to a person in order to consistently get their approval, nor should I have to meet ever changing standards of how to show affection and love in the way they see fit in the moment. If the multitude of ways that I show how much I care is not working with the other person, then they can fuck off until they're completely gone.
And the excuse of doing something I'm going to dislike, and saying that you did it because you love me is bullshit. If you did, you'd consider me in the process, and make a decision from there. Part of being a healthy and caring person in someone's life, is considering them in what you do. There is simple basic respect in not doing something that you know flat out will make another person upset, especially if you do care about them.
I've had partners try to tell me they forgot about me at every holiday because they loved me, meanwhile they showered other people in constant everything whenever they said a word. That isn't them loving me, it's them trying to think words will win me over while being an inconsiderate asshat.
Tell your partners you love them. Tell your friends. Tell everyone how you feel, but don't weaponize it.
Things like "if you love me you'll..." or "Because I love you" or "Don't you love me?"
I've literally told partners that if they were said those things to me, I'd walk. I'd be done, and never look back.
I do a ton of things that show affection and how much I care. I am very blunt and blatant about how I feel with people. To bring any of that into question isn't funny, or cute. It feels and looks manipulative, and like you're looking for me to prove something, and I don't stand for that. I shouldn't have to prove anything to a person in order to consistently get their approval, nor should I have to meet ever changing standards of how to show affection and love in the way they see fit in the moment. If the multitude of ways that I show how much I care is not working with the other person, then they can fuck off until they're completely gone.
And the excuse of doing something I'm going to dislike, and saying that you did it because you love me is bullshit. If you did, you'd consider me in the process, and make a decision from there. Part of being a healthy and caring person in someone's life, is considering them in what you do. There is simple basic respect in not doing something that you know flat out will make another person upset, especially if you do care about them.
I've had partners try to tell me they forgot about me at every holiday because they loved me, meanwhile they showered other people in constant everything whenever they said a word. That isn't them loving me, it's them trying to think words will win me over while being an inconsiderate asshat.
Tell your partners you love them. Tell your friends. Tell everyone how you feel, but don't weaponize it.
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