A lot has been going on in the last few weeks. Some of it will finally start calming down, and others are going to continue creating anxiety.
Things at home are worse than ever. The gnome has just started making empty promises and not telling me he's breaking them, so I've lost out on plans, and means I'm getting very little time out with anyone. This is even more heavily changed by the fact that he is seeing the beast during the week, which means her entire schedule during school is getting fucked with. My parents have just decided t completely ignore me as a person unless they're telling me I'm stupid or worthless because I'm either trying to point something out, or have a different opinion than they do.
I've gone through a lot of my clothes to start dressing in a way that makes me feel more like me, as well as cracking down on my diet, and working out more. I will find a way to stop hating my body this year, and stop the anxiety attacks that my dysmorphia has been causing lately.
I need to crack down on my projects, and hopefully if something happens to boost my mood, I'll start feeling more motivation and plow through. Again, things that along with everything else just add to the downward spiral.
Lux is still in a most shitty mental place due to things with his family. The fact that I can only sometimes do little things to help, and don't feel like I'm as present as I want to be with him makes me worried about him, and I felt badly having recently asked for time with him, knowing how much is going on.
Things down south are starting to calm down in some ways. Pyre finally resolved things by separating with her wife, and it has removed a lot of stress in the house. Now she needs to take the time to find herself and get her mind straight, which will likely take a while, and I can be more present with her and Kitty, helping where I can. I recently told Kitty that I didn't feel like I was helping at all, or as much as I would want to, and I think he realized how much helping and taking care of friends and loved ones actually does make me thrive. I'm glad now that things are slowly getting better there, and helping Kitty settle his own brain now that there is more quiet.
There's been groundwork, but we're all at such a low point, that climbing back up is going to take a while.
Things at home are worse than ever. The gnome has just started making empty promises and not telling me he's breaking them, so I've lost out on plans, and means I'm getting very little time out with anyone. This is even more heavily changed by the fact that he is seeing the beast during the week, which means her entire schedule during school is getting fucked with. My parents have just decided t completely ignore me as a person unless they're telling me I'm stupid or worthless because I'm either trying to point something out, or have a different opinion than they do.
I've gone through a lot of my clothes to start dressing in a way that makes me feel more like me, as well as cracking down on my diet, and working out more. I will find a way to stop hating my body this year, and stop the anxiety attacks that my dysmorphia has been causing lately.
I need to crack down on my projects, and hopefully if something happens to boost my mood, I'll start feeling more motivation and plow through. Again, things that along with everything else just add to the downward spiral.
Lux is still in a most shitty mental place due to things with his family. The fact that I can only sometimes do little things to help, and don't feel like I'm as present as I want to be with him makes me worried about him, and I felt badly having recently asked for time with him, knowing how much is going on.
Things down south are starting to calm down in some ways. Pyre finally resolved things by separating with her wife, and it has removed a lot of stress in the house. Now she needs to take the time to find herself and get her mind straight, which will likely take a while, and I can be more present with her and Kitty, helping where I can. I recently told Kitty that I didn't feel like I was helping at all, or as much as I would want to, and I think he realized how much helping and taking care of friends and loved ones actually does make me thrive. I'm glad now that things are slowly getting better there, and helping Kitty settle his own brain now that there is more quiet.
There's been groundwork, but we're all at such a low point, that climbing back up is going to take a while.
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