I realized the other day that with the exception of little bits of dopey giggles, it's been months since I've had any sort of kink in my life. That I grew complacent with it being absent from my life, and while I felt the occasional twinge for it, I found myself blaming my poor mental space for it, and dismissed it.
What I didn't do, was acknowledge how much kink helps me in the day to day. How much it does give me peace of mind, and makes me function better in the day to day. Kink and play boosts my mood, and all those wonderful bonding chemicals in my brain.
Unfortunately, my mental state is such that Fusion isn't an option for me. I can't do any event that large essentially by myself, because for the most part, I will be. That would have been a good opportunity for me to have play time, but there is too much else that it wouldn't do me much positive in the scheme of things.
I'm going to make it a point to start forcing myself to do more with my time though, and things that I enjoy, and that will do me good. Part of that, is filling more of my life with kink and play to help myself, and hopefully whoever I spend the time with, to feel better.