Lux and I were having a conversation in a diner about a handful of things while I was up there, prior to some grocery shopping that needed to get done. It was a few really important things we needed to go over, on several topics, and then apparently I reminded him of something that he often forgets about.
When we go out places, I'm usually with someone. I very rarely walk anywhere at night by myself, even though Lux encourages me to go out by myself if he decides to stay in when we go out to something on the larger side.
He forgets though, that as someone small, and female bodied, who is pretty blatantly sex positive, and while I intimidate women, a lot of men who don't shy away from me tend to look at me like an easy target. In fact, there have been very few venues I've gone to where at some point someone didn't try to go further than I was comfortable.
And Lux knows that I'm not an easy target, because I'm going to keep anything I don't want happening from taking place. I'm almost always armed, and they don't know that I've got more fight in me than the vast majority of people. Hell, he's seen me handle things before.
But that's the thing. I don't want to have to handle things everywhere I go. I don't want to have to deal with being a target. I deal with it too much already, and practically go through the motions of getting rid of someone when they try to corner me against something.
And if just having someone else there fixes that, even if I'm the one that is actually more of a threat, then that's what I'll do to just avoid the situation.
When we go out places, I'm usually with someone. I very rarely walk anywhere at night by myself, even though Lux encourages me to go out by myself if he decides to stay in when we go out to something on the larger side.
He forgets though, that as someone small, and female bodied, who is pretty blatantly sex positive, and while I intimidate women, a lot of men who don't shy away from me tend to look at me like an easy target. In fact, there have been very few venues I've gone to where at some point someone didn't try to go further than I was comfortable.
And Lux knows that I'm not an easy target, because I'm going to keep anything I don't want happening from taking place. I'm almost always armed, and they don't know that I've got more fight in me than the vast majority of people. Hell, he's seen me handle things before.
But that's the thing. I don't want to have to handle things everywhere I go. I don't want to have to deal with being a target. I deal with it too much already, and practically go through the motions of getting rid of someone when they try to corner me against something.
And if just having someone else there fixes that, even if I'm the one that is actually more of a threat, then that's what I'll do to just avoid the situation.
Comments
Post a Comment