Is Polyamory day!
I always want to type polyarmoury. Nope, that's Lux's closet.
Poly is something I've had to do a lot of talking about lately. With Zero in his situation (more on that later on because holy hell) it's been kind of awesome to realize that this is an aspect of my life I can actually reflect on and talk about, rather than only having shitty experiences, or flailing with nerves.
Also, I still swear I'm the only person who could manage to accidentally poly. No idea how to pick up partners even if I wanted to. Cute boys fall into my lap apparently, and then I decide I like them. Could be worse. I think being a nerd that cooks helps.
Now, I'm the kind of person who doesn't preach any particular lifestyle as being better than any other. So long as it's healthy, and fulfills the people involved, then it's awesome. If it came down to it, I could probably have one partner again and be happy, so long as things were done in a respectful manner.
However, I don't want to do that right now, because cute boys are cute, and I would like to keep them around for a while.
My current poly situation, even with distance, has given me a ton of good experiences. I feel like I can speak freely with them, which is something I have been able to do very seldom in my past, and even with many people in my life now. I have no need to feel jealous, and while things are nowhere near perfect, they're each healthier dynamics than most people have probably ever had.
And, honestly, this isn't much easier or harder for me that any other type of dynamic to balance, other than having to make sure I give time to multiple people. Distance really does make it more difficult than anything, but both boys being around doesn't create nearly the challenge that I had anticipated. That is probably partially due to me being mentally prepared for it needing a ton of work, and because they're both fantastic.
Unfortunately, I still need to keep quiet about things at home, which is incredibly unfortunate, but it's just one more thing on the pile of not being allowed to be me the vast majority of the time, and then being told I'm a thousand horrible things that I'm not on a daily basis.
The people that put you down for who you are don't want to accept the variations of the world, but this is something I am proud of, because I am incredibly proud of the people in my life.