Sunday, June 18, 2017

Stuck on a Theory

So, I said I would talk more about Zero, and things going on with him that have me rather cranky.

I had to be all pride though, cause it's the thing to do.

Last time I talked to him, I was trying to make plans for us to hang out, because it's been a while, and he keeps saying he's missed me.  I made a few suggestions of dates that worked with his schedule, and he started saying that he wasn't sure, and might be hanging out with "the girlfriends".

To which, I asked if this new girl had flat out said she wanted poly and to date.  He said "Not yet, but just taking it day by day".  Bitch, if you already started calling this person your girlfriend, when she isn't, and hasn't yet said she wants to be, you aren't taking it "day by day".  You're reaching for an ideal situation in your head, and don't want to accept that things might not be that way.

We continue talking though, and he fills me in that this girl has a ton of serious medical problems.  Like, life threatening, long term permanent medical problems.  And I tell him that he needs to just be patient, and present, and that she probably doesn't have spoons for a relationship on top of everything else.  That just being there might be all that she can handle right now.

He agrees, and we keep talking.

Then he drops the line "I will have her.  She will be mine"

And I'm immediately saying in a most furious manner, "The fuck you say?  Be happy that she is there.  Be happy just having a part of her life.  Don't fixate on a title or specific relationship."

He says very plainly "I'm not after a title"

Ok, you're already calling her your girlfriend, and saying you want her to be "yours".  You are after a title, you are after a picture perfect closed poly triad, and won't see any other situation, and that's being a piece of shit.

If your ability to be happy with a person is entirely dependent on the title and situation attached to them, you don't give a shit about the person.  He isn't interested in building a friendship with this person, just blindly pushing for a picture in his head, and that's shitty for everyone involved.  Unfortunately, no matter how much I repeat myself, it appears he is too fixated to understand that.

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