Thursday, June 22, 2017

Unfortunate Lessons

It seems like the end of the year is always really hard for Squishy.  She's now done with school for the year, and the last month or so has been a lot of talking with her about things.

There are some girls in her class that would flip flop with day by day.  One day she'd be telling me they were attacking her, lying to everyone about her, and yelling at her on a near daily basis.  Then she comes home and says they were nice and asks me if they can come over.

And, I know I can't control who she's friends with.  I can however try to talk to her about what is and isn't healthy behavior in people you keep as friends.

She later would tell me about how she would get told off and attacked whenever she didn't want to play the same things as them, and would even do what they wanted for a little bit of time, wanting to compromise, and they would go off on her.  Then, whenever she would ask if someone else in the class wanted to play, these girls would walk up and say they were already going to play with them, not even giving these kids a chance to answer.

It's hard to explain to an eight year old that even though someone is attacking her, she isn't do anything wrong.  That she needs to just keep being her, and that she is a good person at heart, even if she does have a hell of a bossy streak, and does still need to learn a lot.

I've had to explain to her that anyone who only wants you around when you just follow and blindly obey isn't the kind of person you want to be around.  That healthy, decent people consider those around them, and find a way to make themselves happy while doing so.  That friends can argue every day, but those arguments aren't attacks, and you don't use the other person as a distraction to do things you know are wrong.

It's the things you don't think about as a parent that are the hardest sometimes.  And they're important things to learn in life, but you still hate seeing your kid have to learn them, especially so young.

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