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Craving the Fix

I've noticed more and more lately, that in the midst of my mind slowly getting back to normal I'm finally wanting play and kink again.  I want forceful play for the fun of it, and to enjoy the time with people.  I want more opportunity to do the things that bring me mental peace, and help me clear my head.

And I notice that in the last few days, I want very possessive power exchange.  Less of the passive exchange we're used to, which is rarely brought up unless attached to an action.  More active emphasis on the dynamic, control, and ownership.

It's rather unsurprising honestly.  I've been feeling rather alone lately, and barely having contact with others, or a positive influence.  In my day to day, I have several people telling me negative abusive things, and while I don't believe them, I don't have much if anything telling me otherwise.

I'm craving something to make me feel wanted.  Something to make me feel like I make a positive impact, and like I'm worth keeping around.  And while I don't like overly possessive people who are simply insecure, little reminders of established connection, desire, and presence using that sort of dynamic are incredibly centering to me.

Maybe I'll be able to have more of it soon.  And keep trying to work toward finding a better mental space.

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