Building to Kink

I don't play with a lot of people.

I have no problem with meeting people, and making friends, but I don't do a lot of pick up play.

And even more than that, I encourage vanilla time with kinky friends.  Long conversations about silly things, baking, and lots of fun mundane things.

I like the process of becoming friends.  I like learning about people, and having quality time.  When I meet new people, getting to have the time to build a real connection with them is my favorite.

Unfortunately, I find that a lot of people don't stick around for things like that.  If they don't get the time to play, they leave, and honestly, I'm ok with that.  I don't wait a long time, but I do give people a bit of time for me to actually get to know them.  I want to learn that they actually have interest in me and not just the idea of play.

I want to learn what we can do after.

I want to know what to expect from you the rest of the time.

Honestly, I would think that people would be more excited with this.  For me to actually show that I give a shit about someone as a person, and want to play with them rather than a skill set.  There are times when I will happily play with someone and do something that I'm not normally drawn to, because I enjoy the time with them.

It hits a point where play is simply an aspect of the friendship.  Another way for us to spend time together, like a bonfire, going for coffee, or playing games.  And that friendship gets to extend well beyond play, and not a case where a scene ends and we go about our ways.

I want to appreciate the vanilla things, so I can appreciate the play with the people I'm with.