Personal Responsiblility

There are certain things we need to be sure to hold ourselves accountable for in casual settings.  We all need a level of self awareness and control, no matter what we're doing, or our orientation.

One morning at Pennsic, while we were all still shambling about and putting ourselves together, sipping coffee, and waiting on the shower, one of our camp mates was talking about her night.  She had met up with a well established domly person who no one is really terribly fond of, and was chatting with him.  Apparently at one point he started trying to use his domly voice, knowing he has tried to establish this over decades, and she responded by calling him sir.

She said it was compulsory, and while upset with herself, acted like it was just a reaction to domly behavior.

Lux and I spoke about this.  

About our disappointment on both parts.

That domly person sure as hell shouldn't be trying to manipulate people he thinks might be submissive with speaking like that.  He has no right to non-consentually behave in a manner of expressing power exchange in a casual situation without an established dynamic.  He should sure as hell be looking to work for that respect in submission rather than simply using some shallow tool to woo submissive behaviors.

And she should have had some self control.  Heard that tone of voice and either ignored it, or told him to fuck off.  It makes her way more of a doormat than she should be, and now he knows that he can do things with that in the future.

One of the things that Lux appreciates about me (and contributes to him definitely having a type) is that if he or anyone else tried that with me, I'd tell them off immediately, give them a big reality check, and probably emasculate them in the process.  It's expected of me, or any of his partners at this point. To be strong and sure, and unbending with anyone else, and contentedly hand over control with him, because he works constantly to earn that power exchange.

With great power comes great responsibility, and not only do we need to be aware of that, but we all need to hold ourselves accountable for the safety of everyone else.