I'm always concerned with keeping a balance between my partners. Making sure that they both know I have time for them, giving them what I can in regards to both needs and wants. It's something that's always on my mind, and even more so when I have them both in a shared physical space.
There's also a balance I'm used to in how I think of them when I'm away. A feeling of missing Kitty due to our longer spans of absence, and a yearning for the more frequent familiarity that I get from Lux. Both have their own comfort in the affection and importance held, but it's certainly a different sort of sensation.
With seeing Kitty twice already this summer, I've noticed myself waking up with the same sort of feeling of missing him as I would Lux. That memory of contact, and waking up snuggled in now fresh in my mind again.
It's weird, honestly. To wake up missing both of them the same way. To need to sort through and figure out which one I want to have contact with in the moment.
And yes, that's important, because otherwise I won't be able to decide which to hug when I am around them both. I'm good at making sure they both get attention, but sorting through who I want to have contact with is important for my own mind so I don't just go through the motions of sharing affection back and forth.
There's also a balance that we had gotten comfortable with, and with Kitty moving, this is shaken up a little. There's a lot in flux, a new normal to find, and I think that with it will come a lot of change in many good ways.
There's also a balance I'm used to in how I think of them when I'm away. A feeling of missing Kitty due to our longer spans of absence, and a yearning for the more frequent familiarity that I get from Lux. Both have their own comfort in the affection and importance held, but it's certainly a different sort of sensation.
With seeing Kitty twice already this summer, I've noticed myself waking up with the same sort of feeling of missing him as I would Lux. That memory of contact, and waking up snuggled in now fresh in my mind again.
It's weird, honestly. To wake up missing both of them the same way. To need to sort through and figure out which one I want to have contact with in the moment.
And yes, that's important, because otherwise I won't be able to decide which to hug when I am around them both. I'm good at making sure they both get attention, but sorting through who I want to have contact with is important for my own mind so I don't just go through the motions of sharing affection back and forth.
There's also a balance that we had gotten comfortable with, and with Kitty moving, this is shaken up a little. There's a lot in flux, a new normal to find, and I think that with it will come a lot of change in many good ways.
Comments
Post a Comment