Save Scum

 A few years ago, I tried to do some things that I'd previously only had poor experiences with.  To reframe them under more positive circumstances, and give myself the chance to change my mind clearly.

And with the things that have happened in the last year, I think I'm due for another year of that again.  To ignore my past experiences, because of the way that would sway my feelings.  That might be a big part of it honestly.  I need to let myself feel again, in regards to a lot of things.  More often than not, I pride myself on being as logical as I am, but it's hit a point where it becomes a deterrent.  

There have been so many times lately where I have used logic to not even let myself try something, or force a wall into place, so I only feel in a small little safe range, which is beneficial for no one.  I cut myself off from learning and exploring, or cause myself anxiety in the process.  

I need to remember to let emotion and logic work alongside each other, to try old things in new ways, and find more ways to learn.  To be comfortable with chance, and embrace the idea of doing something in a more positive way.  If I only talk myself out of things for the sake of logic, then it isn't logic.  It's stagnation, and that's something I can't stand.

This year I said I would work on me, because that's what I can control, and that's how I grow, and do better.  So I need to relax, let myself feel, and allow myself to be, like I do in those small moments, because that lets me be more for everyone else in my life as well.