The weekend of Halloween was hectic to say the least. While at the beast's parade at school, my mother tripped on the blacktop, and wound up breaking her wrist. Which means I've had to take over everything for a house where I'm treated like complete shit.
Now, it's rather obvious that for me service is a form of affection. It's how I show I care, and it comes naturally, and near effortlessly for those I'm close to.
For environments like the one I live in aren't the case for this though. It's psychologically similar to having to fuck a stranger at gunpoint on camera while being ordered about the whole time if the person were vanilla. And while that sounds dramatic, it's honest.
Luckily, I hade Lux here over the weekend, who provided me much needed snuggles the entire time he was here. He could tell how off I was, and kept being sure to hug me and make me smile. It was such a tremendous help, and without him there, I would have been a total mess.
Yes, I know it sounds simple, but it's all I needed. Someone to just be there, not barking orders, but still keeping me on track, and just being aware of the state I'm in. It's something so few people manage, and I'm incredibly grateful for when it does happen. It's given me drive through the week, and made me feel better about stepping up to everything going on.
There are times when power exchange is a comfort, and this is one of them. Luckily, I have a wonderful domlydom to keep me in check, whether he's aware or not.
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