A New Devious Chapter

 Recently, I found a random post that I needed to keep open for a little while to just appreciate.  It was something that spoke about all the different types of intimacy, by listing all the little things that happen that do in fact count. And it made me happy, because as I navigate the possibility of not experiencing romance, seeing the various forms of connection and intimacy is incredibly important.  I've always held more appreciation for random smaller gestures, and how that builds relationships.   I remember while with the gnome, whenever he would try to have sex, he would claim he was trying to be intimate and romantic.  That was all that his idea was, and I think that's the norm.  That unless it's people doing things physically naked, it doesn't count. But intimacy exists in little moments.  In remembering little details about a person, or sharing stories.  Making your favorite recipes, or watching movies.  It exists when we sing poorly together, and hold hands, o

 A couple of weeks ago, Puppy was out to visit again.  There was a small ren faire at a nearby historic village, and we had rescheduled our session of D&D due to some conflicts.  When I asked around to who else was going, another friend, Rabbit, said he intended to be there.  I informed everyone that we'd be attending with Squishy in tow, because she was going to be home that weekend, and it was a plan. And that weekend, I got the reminder of how often I take the role of guide, and step up in whatever way is necessary.  The night before the faire, Puppy couldn't make a single decision about what we would do with the evening.  Because he's not as familiar with things in the area anymore, I tried throwing ideas at him that he hasn't known about, but he had the same approval of them all, rather than having one that jumped out.  Eventually I just told him to head to a place down the road that I knew he'd enjoy, as well as having to make the final decision on everyth

 There are some things, that I don't necessarily blame on being Agender, but might in part be a biproduct.  And some of those things are hard more often than not. Being AFAB means I means that people make assumptions and have expectations about any male friends I have.  Likewise, being far more masculine for as long as I can remember, means that I've had mostly guys as friends for as long as I can remember.  Possibly as an advantage of being AFAB, I've managed to make a lot of those friendships more intimate than would be expected from two cis-men, feeling more comfortable with sharing and providing support. It's been a wonderful thing in my life that I'm grateful for, getting to have those unique connections that many people never benefit from. But like all things, there's a balance.  In return, I wind up being something that a lot of women are threatened by.  Like people don't deserve more than one intimate relationship, even if it's platonic, and in n

 While I'm aware of a lot of things outside of the heteronormative space, it often takes the right example to have something make sense.  And while it took time for me to learn about my own polyamoury, lack of gender, and demisexuality, apparently there's still more to learn. After I last saw Puppy, he sent me an animation with someone coming out as Aromantic.  While I've been aware of it for the longest time, I didn't think that it was something that applied.  I've spoken about not enjoying most traditionally romantic things, but had always thought I was capable of romantic feelings.  I mean, I'd had relationships, felt attached to people, and the like. But watching this cartoon, more and more spoke out to me, and then I went looking on my own, and things started becoming clearer. I've never felt that sensation of butterflies and fireworks.  While capable of connection, everyone who I've ever been really attached to was an incredibly close friend first.