A New Devious Chapter

Last camp, I had mentioned how being there made me feel inspired to switch more.  To do more topping, because it is usually what I'm more drawn to. Coming up to camp, I had made plans to top a few people, and only bottom to one friend as well as my partners, because they obviously would get priority.  It had me excited to be embracing my sadist again, though worried about being rusty. And in standard camp fashion, most of those plans didn't happen.  Some did, but several fell to the wayside of either lack of time, or things happening which would not make that play as safe as it should be. With a random free evening due to some rain, I had the chance to play with Lux.  With adjustments we'd talked about previously, and a more serious tone, I got near that floaty spacey state.  We both agreed that with loud scenes going on around us in the dungeon, it became distracting for us, and something to keep in mind for the future.  Almost an hour he hit me though, in a barrage

I'm home from Fusion, and this last week was a whirlwind.  Juggling multiple groups, being a switch, managing poly, teaching, performing, friends, and everything else. There's a lot for me to write about in the coming weeks, and I'm going to need to figure out how to spread it all out into coherent topics. My classes went well, although one wound up falling right in the hottest part of the day, and so it didn't happen. While Lux and I are thinking about putting together one new one for the future, I think four classes is definitely my maximum.  I kind of want to develop a rotating roster of classes to present, so I can be known for bringing far more things to the table. My double sword set went incredibly well.  I forgot one move, and got a little tangled at one point, but didn't drop the swords, even while rolling around on the ground.  I was nervous to the point of shaking while dancing with my swords, and it absolutely made me more confident in what I could

Last year at camp, I met one of Pyre's favorite people in the scene.  A large man, who was incredibly intelligent, peaceful, and talented.  I could tell just in the short time we had together that there would be a solid friendship and that he was good people. A few months ago, I got myself some new boots, and realized I would need someone to tend to those, as well as my older boots which were seeing some wear.  Around the same time, Pyre started a service dynamic with this man, Owl, and said she would have him work on them.  We made up plans to meet at camp, and regardless of boot service, we would chat over coffee and enjoy some time. The week before camp, I got a call from Lux, saying that he heard of Owl's passing.  Before a real friendship could be built, the chance was gone. I was immediately worried about Pyre, more than feeling loss myself. Camp is a strange place this year, shaken and cracked.

There's a Fusion discord server, and I joined, because sometimes I like to be awkward at people in my day to day.  I found myself talking there a little bit, but conversations never got super deep. One day, some people were talking about what they wanted to do more of this camp, and someone mentioned just wanting to do more this year as a whole.  I said I felt the same way, and was making plans to make sure that happened.  He said he didn't know enough people to make plans beforehand, and didn't know how he would even be with his camp, and making excuses about being an introvert, and all that. I didn't allow those excuses, and told him to attend some classes, because then he'd at least find people who had some level of shared interest.  Told him that I'm socially awkward, and have trouble with new people despite being an extrovert.  Conversation moved, and he started trying to test the waters, and eventually it turned into him saying that he's into CBT. 

A couple weeks ago, Squishy took a day off a school, because he had a bunch of absent days to burn, and it was going to be nice out.  She still got up early, and as we were about to go put ourselves together for the day, I noticed something that acknowledged pride month. I asked her if she knew what pride month was, even on a surface sort of way, and was told no.  So I explained, that while she has been taught that people love who they love, and are whatever gender they may happen to be, that they have to fight to be seen and treated as people, and now use pride to acknowledge that fight, and celebrate being themselves.  I also told her what LGBT means if she sees it out somewhere. After telling her the list of sexualities in the acronym, Squishy hugged me, checking if I was bisexual.  I told her no, but said that lots of people that she sees who are my friends are bisexual or gay.  I reminded her that I'm Agender, and explained being cisgender when she said she definitely felt

I was sitting with my mother and her friend at the dining room table a while ago, and they were talking about random things, and the conversation somehow shifted to my brother's girlfriend's sibling, who is trans.  Yes, I know that is a long chain to say. And my mother always, always makes a thing of him being trans, and pushes the point of misgendering him.  She makes excuses, waffles words around, makes up terms, and does everything she shouldn't do. Her friend enables it, and then goes on about how it's not as bad as "those genderfluid people" and not understanding gender neutral pronouns. They compare trans people to cross dressers, and invalidate them if they haven't had bottom surgery, and a pile of other things.  I tried to suggest things that would make them misgender people less, and while receptive, I doubt they'll take anything from it. However, sitting there, I very nearly actually came out to them as Agender.  To say that the way t

As a continuation of talking about camp (there's a lot to prep y'know) Lux and I have been figuring out our plans for the couple days before we head out, and what will need to be done. He'll be heading down a day or so before to get to me, that way we can try and do our prep at a leisurely pace.  We'll be able to get whatever cleaning done, and final packing without a rush, and run out to pick up some final things. There's also the part of taking care of Lux.  When making these plans, I commented about how the day we leave, we will need to pick up bagels, and as I mentioned ordering them the day before, he interrupted me to say "And I will get a pork roll, egg, and cheese because I am heavily deprived," which I had planned on, but made sure to note that it was something he needed. I'm also sure that the day before we'll likely be adding a trip to an acai bowl place near me to our running about.  Lux tends to want to go every time he'

I'm at the point in packing for camp that I'm just adding things to a pile as I think about them.  Most of the gear is already packed, and much of what's left I may need before we leave.  I'm left considering clothing to pack, costumes for performances, and little details like that. Likewise, Dansa needs to start packing early, because she's headed back to Aus for a week to visit family.  While in her storm of packing for everything, she is also gathering things together for camp in order to save time.  Amidst her mountain of laundry, she talks about having a small pile of lingerie growing for camp.  And I laughed.  I told her that while she was going to be filling a bag with lacy underthings, I was wondering how many suits would fit into my luggage. Last year I wore dresses every day, and actually wore underpants much to Lux's displeasure.  By the end of camp I was so tired of dresses that I told him not to expect to see me in one for at least a year. T

The other day, after plodding along a bit more with my vibrator, I cleaned it up, and plugged it in to charge.  I flopped onto my bed, and giggled a bit. I thought about the time with Thrax where he attempted to use a hitachi on me.  How he just put it near my genitals, and waited about two seconds before shifting it once, and giving up.  He put on an attachment, tried to insert it, and after about five more of it being stationary gave up.  To keep it in mind, he was able to get me off with digital stimulation. Frequently though, he would try to shame me when I would ask for more play.  Turn it into a gaslighting attempt, because he couldn't enjoy his biggest kink with me, claiming it to be forced orgasm.  I would tell him that he could always indulge in this manually, and he would tell me it was too much work, and that he just wanted to be able to strap a toy to my leg and watch. Really, he wanted to avoid work at whatever cost.  Wanted unwarranted submission and obedience