A New Devious Chapter

 Health issues are nothing new to me.  Almost everyone closest to me has a myriad of mental and physical maladies, which I have learned the workings of, and have gotten used to.  They come with rules, and everyone has learned to manage them as well as possible. And now I have a Rabbit, who also comes with his own collection.  His biological parents weren't the best during pregnancy, which has caused him to grow up with a lot of interesting things.  He has an assortment of allergies which are nice in some ways, and difficult in others, a pile of digestion issues which have a lot of rules, and some other medical things that make him feel mentally uncomfortable. It's lead to him always checking with me.  Asking if I actually love him so much that I don't want to run away.  Having him feel anxious or shameful, because of things that are just the way his body works. And then I read something that clicked.  It talked about the price of admission to have a person in your life.  If

 We've come to the beginning of another year, and I've had a few months to adjust to having Rabbit as a present and consistent part of my life.  That means adjusting to not only someone who calls dibs on every long span of time I have free, but short weekends as well, and if not, comes out to see me during the week.  It's affirming, and a healthy change.  It's also a lot to adjust to. I'm used to having so much of my time be mine.  When I'm not taking care of Squishy, I'm used to having all day to take care of myself, and get work done.  I was moving all day, every day, with plenty of time and organization to take on more.  Then this boy comes along who wants to spend time with me, and talk to me, and that all sort of went out the window.   And I've been learning to get more done during the day, and give him presence.  When he's with me I try to give him the attention he needs, and I've been keeping up with all my venues, because self-imposed dea

 Ok, now that the holidays are almost done here (with the exception of the pile of birthdays), I can share about the last couple of weeks of the year. I mentioned before the new year that we had an emergency trip to keep Squishy safe.  That meant getting home just before Channukah, and where we would have had a few days to prep, I instead had one.  Luckily, I had done most of the prep well beforehand, and with my mom paring down the holidays so much, it was fairly easy.  It wound up not being too bad, and was good to actually share another holiday with Rabbit, because I'm still getting used to sharing holidays with a partner. There was only some frustration with Squishy not understanding that you prioritize holidays over extra curriculars, and my mom trying to claim that she did everything for the holiday, where realistically, she made two things.  I let Squishy open some presents each night, and she was happy with all of them, and surprised by a few.  Far better than last year whe

 While I could talk about the holidays here, and everything entailed with that, it's the first post of the new year, so I think it's a good time to look at how different my life is compared to when I was writing and reflecting one year ago. And hell, so much has changed.  While in many ways, I'm still me, and this is still my life, my everyday is incredibly different. Someone who I thought would be around forever dropped me like a wet towel.  Did the exact thing that was done to him, and couldn't even talk to me about it.  I found out that he was sneaking around, hiding things, and who knows what else, and I surely hope that eventually life catches up and he gets what he deserves. I gave someone else a second chance, and he couldn't see how clung on he was.  When I fell further away, he grabbed on tighter, and when he nearly murdered me, he tried to make himself the victim.  It was a tie that went from adjusting and loosening, to cutting and ridding myself of altoge