I had an exchange with someone the other day, where simply poking fun, and a single comment spurned a spiral of butthurt that I couldn't comment on there any longer because I knew it wouldn't be heard.
However, I knew a good chunk of it was mistargetted projecting, and I very nearly flipped.
This person, who I will admit is of a minority, happened to say that I didn't know about under-representation or toxicity in the geek community.
Let that sink in.
Give it a minute.
Read it over again.
He told an Agender female bodied person who attends events and hobbies solo that they don't understand toxicity in geek culture.
Because, when I was a young teen, there were tons of girls playing magic who didn't just do so because their boyfriend did. That I was spoken to as though I knew the game, and that people didn't just think they could take advantage of me. That my consistently goth and masculine preference was absolutely accepted by everyone.
And that a few years later, I didn't have guys hopping in front of me at larps. That I was treated like a competent fighter, and not just like a piece of meat. That men weren't intimidated by me, and constantly tried to target me.
I've never given a shit about toxicity in the geek scene. I know most of the guys out there are assholes who think they have something to prove. I know I intimidate people, and I know I can back up every word I say when I walk up to someone. However, I am more aware than anyone of the toxicity in this world, and to even bring it up to me in any context as though I'm unaware is simply a cry of your own insecurity.
(Written before going to play D&D with old larpers and while listening to video game music)