Why I Didn't Report

There's a movement going on, even if I'm a few weeks late.

I can't post it on a lot of socials, because unfortunately people involved in shitty ways follow me and I don't feel like dealing with them.

However, I too have dealt with multiple occurances of sexual assault and consent violation over the course of my life.  When I went to get my exam, during the interview beforehand they asked if I had gone through any of it before, and when I said yes, they had to ask if I reported it.  They looked disappointed to hear another person not being able to report things.

And here's why I didn't bother each time:

• I was four.  The people around me didn't listen to a word I said, and I didn't yet have the words to even explain what had happened, let alone know it was something to report.
• We were dating at the time, so people told me I shouldn't frame him as a bad guy for just doing what he wanted.  When I told people after, I was told I was too stupid to not do more in the moment.
• When I went to tell a friend after the fact, who normally attacks anyone she can frame regardless of what is actually going on, she told me that he just wasn't taught how to show affection, and so it was ok that he violated my consent multiple times over due to that.

There are a thousand reasons why people do not report things.  And it isn't just being demeaned by men.  In general, people make excuses to dismiss the idea of this happening as commonly as it does, and that does nothing but perpetuate it.

Yes, we need to look for the truth, but we also need to look at the people making those claims.  And if we give people that credit when they've only shown they deserve it, we'll get more people reporting, and more people facing consequences for the shit they do.