While life is fairly calm right now, I'm finding myself flailing to get caught up with everything coming up.
Performances are coming up, and I need to find the motivation to dance more. I know that once I turn on the music and devote time to it, I'll be fine, and find my addiction to wiggling again, but it seems thrown away right now.
Getting everything started to begin making costuming is taking longer than anticipated, which I should have realized. It sometimes feels like I'm failing for an impossible result.
While I feel inspired to work on things, they are often not the right things. There is so much I need to do lately, and even though I should be playing with chain and fabric, I am compelled toward drawing. Which I manage to finish quickly, but I need to figure out a way to balance my projects that need to happen, with what I want to make.
I'm feeling restless, and off. I need a few days away from home I think. To really figure out how I want to handle the next few months, how to get things started, and what to do with myself. I'm still determined, and I'm not going to let anything shake me this time. Some time out of the house to work, or even just clear my mind when I'm not staring at the clock, or worrying about getting back to my daughter right away.
I find myself craving power exchange again, and sometimes feeling lonely. I feel so caught up in everything with my own life, I'm at the point where I over think a lot of it. Being able to have someone else's life to consider as well allows me to spread my thoughts out more evenly, and I can focus without going too deeply into any of it.
Sometimes I need to be overwhelmed in order to function. It makes me think more clearly, and then I can prioritize better, and by having someone always there to consider, I can keep that thought present. I can lose myself in my art, and in creation, while thinking of the people in my life, and trying to keep them as motivated as I am.
I'll find a way out of the maze I'm in. There's light to be found, and I'm stubborn enough to keep looking.
Performances are coming up, and I need to find the motivation to dance more. I know that once I turn on the music and devote time to it, I'll be fine, and find my addiction to wiggling again, but it seems thrown away right now.
Getting everything started to begin making costuming is taking longer than anticipated, which I should have realized. It sometimes feels like I'm failing for an impossible result.
While I feel inspired to work on things, they are often not the right things. There is so much I need to do lately, and even though I should be playing with chain and fabric, I am compelled toward drawing. Which I manage to finish quickly, but I need to figure out a way to balance my projects that need to happen, with what I want to make.
I'm feeling restless, and off. I need a few days away from home I think. To really figure out how I want to handle the next few months, how to get things started, and what to do with myself. I'm still determined, and I'm not going to let anything shake me this time. Some time out of the house to work, or even just clear my mind when I'm not staring at the clock, or worrying about getting back to my daughter right away.
I find myself craving power exchange again, and sometimes feeling lonely. I feel so caught up in everything with my own life, I'm at the point where I over think a lot of it. Being able to have someone else's life to consider as well allows me to spread my thoughts out more evenly, and I can focus without going too deeply into any of it.
Sometimes I need to be overwhelmed in order to function. It makes me think more clearly, and then I can prioritize better, and by having someone always there to consider, I can keep that thought present. I can lose myself in my art, and in creation, while thinking of the people in my life, and trying to keep them as motivated as I am.
I'll find a way out of the maze I'm in. There's light to be found, and I'm stubborn enough to keep looking.
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