I saw Lux before he went back home last week. He has been dealing with serious issues with his parents, and finally came by to see me while taking care of things.
And where he had said he planned for us to go to brunch, he instead dropped the emotional bomb of everything going on. And I just listened, curling up next to him while he dumped it all out. Normally, Lux focuses so hard to keep everything at a baseline. To act like he's unphased by things, and just able to move and flow with things. This time, he let down those walls, and just spewed.
It was one of those times when it reminds me there are still people who think men, and domly folk can't feel stress. They need to be a rock through everything. Those absolutely unrealistic expectations that prove they've never had a partner through any sort of serious life event. This didn't make Lux weak, or any less of what he is. If anything, it showed the trust and connection we have.
And of course, he apologized afterward, as if he was at fault for spewing emotion like that. I assured him that I had no problem with it, and that he had nothing to apologize for. That if this is what he needs for a while, then it's how we spend time together, and I'm fully prepared for that.
It's going to be a long time before he's ok again, and I'm here for whatever he needs during that time, and well beyond then.
And where he had said he planned for us to go to brunch, he instead dropped the emotional bomb of everything going on. And I just listened, curling up next to him while he dumped it all out. Normally, Lux focuses so hard to keep everything at a baseline. To act like he's unphased by things, and just able to move and flow with things. This time, he let down those walls, and just spewed.
It was one of those times when it reminds me there are still people who think men, and domly folk can't feel stress. They need to be a rock through everything. Those absolutely unrealistic expectations that prove they've never had a partner through any sort of serious life event. This didn't make Lux weak, or any less of what he is. If anything, it showed the trust and connection we have.
And of course, he apologized afterward, as if he was at fault for spewing emotion like that. I assured him that I had no problem with it, and that he had nothing to apologize for. That if this is what he needs for a while, then it's how we spend time together, and I'm fully prepared for that.
It's going to be a long time before he's ok again, and I'm here for whatever he needs during that time, and well beyond then.
That seems so strange to me. I think in a relationship, each person takes a turn at "being the strong one". No one can hold it together 100% of the time. I think these feelings have a lot to do with how society raises and views our men. When Sir goes through this, he always apologizes and makes a comment about how great I'm being about it. Well, of course. I love him and I understand that he can go through stuff. I'm not going to put him down! But I suppose society in general expects males to "man up" so to speak. I think those ideas are slowly shifting.
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