It's been a few months, and after having time with my partners separately and together, I've learned a lot, and figured out many things in regards to how poly balances practically for me.
Distance sucks, and even moreso with two partners. They're both near the same distance from me, but one north, and the other south. Which means that spending time with either of them is difficult, and they're both just out of convenient weekend visit range. It's a lot easier to manage with boys as good as Lux and Kitty though.
Day to day I miss them both, and find myself wanting time with each of them, for reasons specific to who each one is, because I do get very different things from both of them. However, I make sure to keep contact with them both, stay on top of what is going on, and support them as much as I possibly can.
Lux texts regularly, but I need to square away phone dates with Kitty, which sometimes is easier said than done. It's become much easier to give them both attention every day as time goes on though, even if I still make sure they both get as much care as I can give.
Sometimes I feel badly when splitting time with them though. I only get so many chances to go and see them, and where I was always going up to see Lux, now I need to divvy that out in a way that gives me time with Kitty, but lets Lux know I'm not disappearing at all. I know they both are happy that I'm with someone safe and caring and trustworthy, but it doesn't stop me from being paranoid.
When I'm around the two of them I can't stop thinking about how cute they are, or how happy they make me just being there. I do notice myself being a little less affectionate than I normally would be, but I'm sure that will fix itself in time. I also find that Kitty tries to be somewhat naturally dominant with me, trying to see if he can tell me to do something. Even with Lux saying he wants a break from play, I'm still not submitting to anyone, and barely listen to Kitty anyway most of the time. Generally, his attempts are met with a glare, or an amount of bratty attitude that lets him know he isn't getting anywhere. Usually he says he expects it, but I may need to talk to him soon about laying out exactly where we stand.
I'm still sort of settling into this poly thing, but I couldn't ask for two more amazing boys to learn with.
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