A New Devious Chapter

Because I haven't been in a good mood for a while, and I get to see Lux tomorrow, I figured I would put down a collection of short little stories which make me giggle about him.  Some of those little moments that are just too funny not to keep around to tell when the timing is right. Background: So, Lux has giant schween.  Like, similar to, or larger than most porncock.  I generally don't mention this, because I care more about him than his genitals, but it apparently is something that brings about humor, so hooray. First, one of our favorite stories, from while I was living with Thrax.  It was just before the weekend that I was going to move out, and there wasn't much food in the apartment, because I did the shopping, and saw no point in filling the place with food if I was leaving in a couple more days.  The following exchange occurs: Thrax: Hey, is that sirloin still in the freezer?  Is it cool if I bring it out to PA? Me: Yea, but the filet in the f...

A while ago, the same friend that has been full of so many other issues posted to Tumblr about it's fine to live off fast food if you work because you might be tired, and cooking for a family is hard.  That there's no problem with living off it, and no one should have to cook to feed themselves after taking care of loved ones. Mind you, she, and her husband often have a completely empty house with no food when I stay there, live off junk food, and when she claims she's going to "cook" for a party or just to feed us there, it's a meatloaf.  Now, I have no problem with meatloaf, but that's all she makes.  Nothing else.  So we have small bowls of that, which are expected to keep us fed and happy for a weekend.  Oh, and if she makes breakfast, it's often bacon.  Yes, just bacon. This is how she feeds guests.  In incredibly small amounts, and just with meat.  I leave there and crave vegetables for days. And, she works from home.  There's no com...

It's been a little while since I got tied up with Kitty, and now that I can properly relfect on it, I can tell how it fits into the way I like to play. I'm not terribly patient when it comes to a lot of things, and play is one of them.  I know Kitty was trying to be very thorough about the harnesses he was putting me in, but sometimes I felt like I was just standing there as a mannequin rather than being played with.  I wanted to be doing something, not waiting for the next step in going in the air.  I've also talked about how play and sex in general for me is about who I'm with, and the connection and vibe therein.  Being in the air got rid of that chance, and made it so I couldn't do anything I wanted to, and not in a fun way, cause, well he doesn't control shit when it comes to me.  It created a desire to play rather than feeling sated.  I came down, curled up, and wanted to get beaten up, and to tear Kitty apart. I think, in the right mood, I could e...

Since getting back from my week with Kitty, I've been thinking about how that lack of time felt, and a more exact interpretation of what I do need to feel content and cared for with my partners.  Lux and I generally take quite a bit of time showing each other attention, so it goes well beyond what I need, and makes me often feel rather spoiled (which I am not one to complain about, nor do I take it for granted).  However, when with a partner who has several other partners who he is used to giving attention to, I need to be more aware of what exactly I need, so I can get what is necessary for me. I like being busy and taking care of a partner.  Being right there next to them while being social and working on stuff is fulfilling to me, but I think it's pretty normal to need breaks.  I need little moments where I get affection without prompting it.  It doesn't matter if it's a hug, or a grope, or whatever, but quick little moments are necessary a couple times a d...

I remember a conversation that Thrax had with me one day while walking into the house.  Something that he felt completely justified with, and that he was right to tell me. He said that even though I was his girlfriend, I wasn't a "trophy partner".  That he needed to pursue the other girls he was going after, in complete disregard for who any of them were, because they were girls he felt he could show off more in public.  Yea, tell that to a girl who already has body dysmorphia.  Needless to say, it made me feel physically like garbage for a while, because I knew the only thing they technically had on me, was that they fit closer to society's standard of beauty.  This did just cement in that Thrax didn't really give a shit about me more than feeling like I needed to compete, but it still dug in what didn't need help in my brain. I'm very well aware that my build doesn't fit what society would normally prefer.  I'm not photogenic, but rather someo...

I try to be very relaxed about my partners finding other fun people in their lives.  I try to trust their judgement, because, hell, they decided to keep me around, so they make some good decisions. I learned while with Thrax not to think of myself as being in competition with anyone.  That if someone is going to treat me like shit, they'll do it regardless of the other people, and anyone worth keeping around will listen to me warning them about unhealthy or attacking behaviors. Jealousy doesn't serve me, and I'm very comfortable in my view that so long as I'm being treated consistently, everything is cool in the world.  If at any point I need more attention, I have no problem asking for it, and generally get it.  However, I get nervous whenever a partner of mine finds a new person.  It's not really out of worry for how it'll affect me, but how it'll affect them.  I'm incredibly protective, and I've seen partners get hurt by others far too often to...

(Written on the train home) So, I'm currently dropping from some last minute cherry popping, but I'll get to that soon. I anticipated the week to be filled with a lot of time to myself, and plenty of snuggles in the evenings, with some play and adventures.  Lots of time utilized with Kitty on what will be likely the last time I'll see him before the move. The Saturday before Easter I managed to get in a couple hours with Lux.  He was in a messy mindspace, but we had some good snuggles and time together.  I didn't want him to leave, and wished that after a month without him, I could have the night, considering I have no idea when I'll see him again. Sunday was the long trek in the evening south, and by the time I got in, all there was time for was a quick tour, some hugs, and bed.  The rest of the week, unfortunately didn't go so well.  Instead of time snuggled up, I had to listen to Kitty and Fox argue about their wedding, and watch him with one of his othe...

For the longest time my body had a sort of defence mechanism against my sex drive.  Because all of my partners showed no real interest or attraction toward me for whatever reason, after about a week without sex, my brain would kind of shut that part of itself down, and I wouldn't think about it.  It was better for my own mind to ignore that part of itself, because it wasn't like there were really options for me (for a multitude of reasons). Welp, having partners that actually match my sex drive (some of the time at least) has definitely proven how much showing interest is important for me.  It was about a month between seeing Lux or Kitty both, and while Kitty still sees me as an awkward teenager, Lux was very vocal about that timespan's affecting him as well.  Those regular expressions of desire made that month rather difficult, and the distance wasn't helping. And, it's not as if I didn't have opportunities with people over the course of that month.  To whic...