The other day Lux was working from home, and when he told me, I said I wished I had been there to distract him all day. To be there to pester him then after a while start giving him a blowjob, and being able to get away with it. It's a normal sort of comment for me to make, and while I generally let him work when he needs to, it's not something that is out of character if I'm feeling super bratty.
He responds by saying that he knows he has no real way to threaten me anyway, except with ignoring me, which isn't actually a healthy response in any way. We continued to discuss it for a little while.
It made me think about it from a lot of different views. Mostly ones that were actually helpful, but some that are less fun.
On one hand, Lux has had a lot of problems with power exchange after his previous partners. He claims he pushed too hard with one, and was too absent subsequently with another. Yet here I am, just as consistent as ever, and happily handing over control because of who he is and how much I trust him rather than threats and punishments. It's steadying for him, and helps me through a lot as well, and makes him feel way more proud because he knows he earned everything without having to consider any play or force into the equation.
However, it means he can't have those times of enforcing it. Times when he just wants to actively and forcibly take control to where I have no choice but to hand it over.
And he agreed when I pointed this out. That it both makes him feel better as a domlyperson, but less apt to want to act upon it. And how it isn't really a bad thing, but just something that has come upon who we are.
After this long, we're still figuring out things about our dynamic, and deciding if we need to work on them. We however, stay consistent, and present, and as caring as ever, which is most important.
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