I've had a few reminders over the last few days of how I react to high protocol, and strict power exchange situations. Not that I have any innate problem with them, but more that I learn how little I fit into it.
High protocol situations make me want to grab someone, make popcorn, and sit to the side snarking away like Statler and Waldorf. That if someone were to expect me to act with all the rules and ritual and hierarchy around others that gets used, I'd just pull out every bit of sass possible, then go hug Lux, because while he's the domly dom, there isn't a thing in the world that will tell me I'm lower than anyone else, or should be treated that way.
Even just with regular power exchange, I'm loud. I speak up, and don't look for tasks or stereotypical gestures. I let my needs and wants be heard, no matter what might be the more ideal behavior. I however, do my damnedest to take care of any domly person I have, and when the chips are down, they're in charge. No matter how it may look most of the time.
I may have jokingly told a friend the other day "If you asked me, I'd say [Lux] is in charge. If you asked him, you'd get something akin to 'Have you tried to get her to listen to anyone?'"
I don't have any problem with the existence of strict power exchange. But with who I am, I need someone who will encourage me to grow, and to be me. That simply doesn't mix with the more strict stereotypes.
Luckily Lux tolerates all my sass.
High protocol situations make me want to grab someone, make popcorn, and sit to the side snarking away like Statler and Waldorf. That if someone were to expect me to act with all the rules and ritual and hierarchy around others that gets used, I'd just pull out every bit of sass possible, then go hug Lux, because while he's the domly dom, there isn't a thing in the world that will tell me I'm lower than anyone else, or should be treated that way.
Even just with regular power exchange, I'm loud. I speak up, and don't look for tasks or stereotypical gestures. I let my needs and wants be heard, no matter what might be the more ideal behavior. I however, do my damnedest to take care of any domly person I have, and when the chips are down, they're in charge. No matter how it may look most of the time.
I may have jokingly told a friend the other day "If you asked me, I'd say [Lux] is in charge. If you asked him, you'd get something akin to 'Have you tried to get her to listen to anyone?'"
I don't have any problem with the existence of strict power exchange. But with who I am, I need someone who will encourage me to grow, and to be me. That simply doesn't mix with the more strict stereotypes.
Luckily Lux tolerates all my sass.
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