When I was sixteen, I remember sitting at the computer, and deciding that at some point, I wanted a body piercing. Because it was me, I then went about researching different piercings to see exactly what I wanted done. Most of the piercings out there looked at the time rather unappealing to me, but I really enjoyed the way pierced nipples looked. I loved them, and decided that I would at some point have it done.
Well, then I was dating the gnome, who, along with any other form of self expression I wanted, tried to fight against me ever having the piercing done.
Then, on April 21st of 2011, I decided to go and have them done. It was a gift to myself for finally getting rid of the gnome, and gaining new independence and sense of self.
I unfortunately had also already started playing with Thrax.
Well, he decided that these piercings were something that he didn't need to care about. He pressured me to stretch them faster than they should be, and if I went to stretch them while he was around, he would force the taper through thinking he was being funny, even when I'd told him that he was actively causing injury rather than stretching. He would ignore my asking him to avoid them by yanking on the jewelry constantly. I had to fix multiple blowouts, and he would only stop when my nipples started bleeding.
They were left in a state of near constant pain. Where almost any contact was insanely painful, and it very rarely ceased.
I can't tell you how many guys would see my piercings, and when I told them not to mess with them because it hurt, they would think of it as them being sensitive. They didn't know that my no is always a hard no, and that it didn't mean an invitation to go in and be grabby, but that it was unsafe pain.
And so with two partners who understand the state they've been in, I've now had a body part that was in constant pain and having to be constantly careful of six years, that can't have any contact. What was worse was knowing that it wasn't my fault, but the disrespect of others.
A few days ago, I pulled the trigger and removed the jewelry.
It's still weird to look at, but I was in so much pain that day that I couldn't deal with it any longer. I've never had to remove a piercing before, and especially not one because of someone else's actions.
It sucks. A lot.
I keep being asked if I'm going to try again after they heal.
I already see scar tissue forming on the outside, and my nipples won't go flat like they used to. There is permanent damage, and I don't know if that will affect future healing.
Right now, I just want to not be in pain.
Well, then I was dating the gnome, who, along with any other form of self expression I wanted, tried to fight against me ever having the piercing done.
Then, on April 21st of 2011, I decided to go and have them done. It was a gift to myself for finally getting rid of the gnome, and gaining new independence and sense of self.
I unfortunately had also already started playing with Thrax.
Well, he decided that these piercings were something that he didn't need to care about. He pressured me to stretch them faster than they should be, and if I went to stretch them while he was around, he would force the taper through thinking he was being funny, even when I'd told him that he was actively causing injury rather than stretching. He would ignore my asking him to avoid them by yanking on the jewelry constantly. I had to fix multiple blowouts, and he would only stop when my nipples started bleeding.
They were left in a state of near constant pain. Where almost any contact was insanely painful, and it very rarely ceased.
I can't tell you how many guys would see my piercings, and when I told them not to mess with them because it hurt, they would think of it as them being sensitive. They didn't know that my no is always a hard no, and that it didn't mean an invitation to go in and be grabby, but that it was unsafe pain.
And so with two partners who understand the state they've been in, I've now had a body part that was in constant pain and having to be constantly careful of six years, that can't have any contact. What was worse was knowing that it wasn't my fault, but the disrespect of others.
A few days ago, I pulled the trigger and removed the jewelry.
It's still weird to look at, but I was in so much pain that day that I couldn't deal with it any longer. I've never had to remove a piercing before, and especially not one because of someone else's actions.
It sucks. A lot.
I keep being asked if I'm going to try again after they heal.
I already see scar tissue forming on the outside, and my nipples won't go flat like they used to. There is permanent damage, and I don't know if that will affect future healing.
Right now, I just want to not be in pain.
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