As a follow up to a post the other day, Lux and I have had quite a bit more focus on power exchange lately. We've both really been feeling it, and trying not to just ignore that, but acknowledge it in the moment, rather than saying we'll get to it when we're together.
It's also become a huge symbol of how much we both care about the needs of the other. Even in adapting small gestures to give him control, we spoke for a while on how to tailor this to work for us. What makes him know I'm being me, and let's him also have control over the situation without just blanket rules. Something active, that not only gives him control through my gesture, but in how he scales it in the moment. Which, in my mind, might not create ritual, but is more controlling, because it's always in his hands.
We've been looking at a lot of little things we do, and noticing how much we put power exchange into them. That many things we look at as possessive in our own way. Sure, barely any of it is a traditional expression of control, but there are lots of little things there.
Things we notice.
And in a way, having that dynamic that doesn't fit the cookie cutter of power exchange makes things more authentic, healthier, personal, and even more of a happy expression of control for us.
We're not in it for the show. We don't exchange power to feel like we need to prove things to others. We know its there. We see it, we tailor it. And that makes it a bit stronger than other more stereotypical dynamics.
It's also become a huge symbol of how much we both care about the needs of the other. Even in adapting small gestures to give him control, we spoke for a while on how to tailor this to work for us. What makes him know I'm being me, and let's him also have control over the situation without just blanket rules. Something active, that not only gives him control through my gesture, but in how he scales it in the moment. Which, in my mind, might not create ritual, but is more controlling, because it's always in his hands.
We've been looking at a lot of little things we do, and noticing how much we put power exchange into them. That many things we look at as possessive in our own way. Sure, barely any of it is a traditional expression of control, but there are lots of little things there.
Things we notice.
And in a way, having that dynamic that doesn't fit the cookie cutter of power exchange makes things more authentic, healthier, personal, and even more of a happy expression of control for us.
We're not in it for the show. We don't exchange power to feel like we need to prove things to others. We know its there. We see it, we tailor it. And that makes it a bit stronger than other more stereotypical dynamics.
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