Processing Reset

I've always had an incredibly high pain tolerance.

It's something I'm rather proud of, and love getting to show off.

Beatings that would put others out of commission for a few days, I take as a warm up.  Nearly all kinds of pain I enjoy, and chances are that even if my limit gets hit, a moment later I'll be running around acting perfectly fine.

My friends think I'm a mutant.  I'm alright with this.

I've always been stubborn, and this counts into it.  I won't give up until I absolutely have to, and I will push myself to go as far as I can every time.  Top that off with a background of a lot of martial arts and getting into fights, and I was basically built to take pain.

Here's the kicker though.  I don't feel gentle touches really.  Obviously I'm aware of them.  They still register to me, but don't provide real sensation.  If something is going to really feel good, it's gotta have force.
I was made for masochism.

Pain wakes me up.  It shuts down a lot of my brain, and has other parts firing on overdrive.  I stop talking as much, stop thinking ahead, and focus on what is going on at that moment.  All the little things that have been bothering me get tossed in the processing of all the sensations lighting up my body.  It removes the stress, and the worries, and all the shit, and has me thinking clearly.

Then I start generating all the adrenaline and endorphins, and it lets me take even more.  At this point, I'm floating in painspace, running purely off the chemicals all the pain is creating.  There's no more outside shit to my life.  All the things I needlessly worry over and consider are gone, and I'm so focused on the pain as it radiates through me, that the edges of my vision blur to keep my mind working primarily on the pain.

There's one thing I never miss though.  One thing that doesn't blur over.
The look in the eyes of the sadist when they've really started unloading on me.  It's this amazing glimmer, and I know that I'm giving them the challenge they look for, and it just inspires me to take more.  To be able to absorb every bit of pain they want to give me, until I can't even hold myself up.

And once it's done, and the pain ends, everything is so over sensitive that I can feel all those little touches, and I think that's what other people feel all the time.  It feels amazing, and almost electric.  It brings me back to earth, as sort of a step down from the intense pain, with sensation that is like a pleasure overload.  After that, my mind wakes back up, and puts all of what I had felt aside, and I'm thinking clearly, with all the endorphins still active.

Needless to say, at this point, I feel amazing.  I feel refreshed, giddy, and bouncy with all the energy that's still burning off.  All the tender skin is sore to the touch, which I enjoy, so I'll randomly start pressing on welts, or heavier marks, to enjoy what's been left there.  Then it's just riding out the buzz until I level out, and crave it all again.