Walking on Glass

Sometimes I forget how useful being a switch is.

I find communication during play to be incredibly important.  That level of self awareness on the part of the bottom to inform the top what is going on is vital for play, especially when pain is concerned. 

Sure, if there is power exchange, one person is putting themselves into the hands of the other, however at least in my case I trust the dominant involved to want me to enjoy what's going on.  I know that if I say something, they can choose to keep going, but I trust them to move, or make changes as necessary to have the most fun possible.

Even as a top myself, I am very keyed into the responses of the bottom I am playing with, to communicate, and steer the session in the most fun way for everyone.  I want to not be the person people are only going to play with once and never again.

Now, especially with my pain tolerance, I need to be clear about how I signal the top I'm playing with.  They need to know when to hit me harder, when to change, and when I need a break.  This is for my safety, and I absolutely know this. 

I know when I can push.  Sometimes you just need those last couple smacks to get the release of endorphins you need to be able to take more.

Sometimes, you need to ask for a different implement.  A different area of focus.  Total honesty about what is going on, so I can get hurt in the most fun way.

I will never try to diesel my way through something I know I can't take.  If something hits my limit, I know to signal in whatever way possible that this has happened.  Throwing up the red flags, and cutting off the next strike before it hits.   I trust my top to notice this, and check in.

I also trust my top to know that if I'm throwing that many signals up, not to continue with what they were doing after checking in.

As a bottom, it is my responsibility to consistently inform the top of how I'm doing.  If I'm signaling bad pain, and still want to go further, I need to ask for five minutes and not say to keep going.  This self awareness is vital for good, safe, happy play.

Likewise, as a top, I need to notice the severity of those signals, and if the bottom does miscommunicate, I need to step back, look, and make the decision of what needs to happen.

Then there are the much scarier bottoms.  The ones that space out, and will beg for more when they've obviously hit their limit.  Those ones require such massive trust when it comes to playing with them, and so much knowledge of what they can actually take that being a new partner with them can be scary.

There is so much trust and awareness required for play.  You have to know yourself, and your partner, and be as honest as possible.  Breaking any part of that can be dangerous, in a not sexy or fun way, and kills the vibe for everyone.  The more comfortable you can make your top to know you'll tell them the truth, the more fun ways they will try to hurt you, and really, that's what everyone wants.