How to get into my pants (an instruction manual)

Oh yea, that's right, I actually feel the need to type this up lately.

1.  Never assume anything about me.  I will surprise you.  From the first moment, to years later, there will be things about me that you will not expect, and assuming the wrong thing, and treating me that way will only kill your chances.  Common things that occur with this are my sexuality, orientation, or gullibility.
2. Don't try and get anywhere the first time we hang out in person.  Sure, we can talk sex, and play and all of it, but don't suggest anything.  I've got a very strict "No play on the first date" policy, and trying to break it, will result in me breaking you.
3. No means no, but yes does not mean push further.  If I'm cool with something, enjoy that.  I'll take things further if I'm comfortable with it.  Trust me, I have no issue taking the initiative sexually.
4. Make the first move.  Yes, this means after we've hung out at least once.  Even just a small comment of interest works.  In fact, a single line like that is the best possible thing.  Otherwise, I have no clue you have any interest, and won't want to make the first move myself.  I have no problem flirting back and forth and furthering things once that barrier is broken though.
5. The more you try, the more I will want to set you on fire.
6. Never feel like you're entitled, or have another person on your team to try and talk me into it.  I'm really good at saying no, and even better at performing amputations.
7. Treat me like a person.  Seriously.  Have the same conversations with me that you would have with any of your friends.
8. In fact, want to actually become my friend.  I will not fuck or play with someone who isn't my friend first, or that I don't think could be my friend.  I won't just be a booty call, or a hook up, but I will fuck the shit out of you, cook you dinner, and watch random movies with you, just because.  There's got to be more than bumping uglies involved.
9. Remember shit about me.  If I bring up a limit, and you decide you want to do that with me an hour later, it is sure as hell going to make me feel like you don't give a fuck about me, other than my genitals.  And if you don't give a fuck, I won't either.  It doesn't need to be insane, but I will remember what you tell me, so it's a courtesy to try and do the same.
10. Understand that I am weird.  I've got a lot of things with my brainbox that aren't like a normal person.  Dealing with me is an experience, and there's a lot of learn that you aren't used to.  If you look at me like I'm a freak, I'm just going to want to set you on fire

Yup, that's about all.  This shouldn't even need to be written, but it has become necessary.
Wow.  There's a lot of threat of bodily harm in there.  Oh well!