A while ago, I had a friend randomly text me with a question.
"If two couples go out, it's a double date, and if you go out with a romantic prospect, it's a date, so what do you call it when a couple takes out a possible third?"
And I sat and thought about it, wondering why it needed to be that difficult. Why we needed to label our interactions with others, and figure out ways to classify everything we did in their own little piles.
My response to her was "It is a date. However, my answer may be a bit skewed compared to many you would ask. For me, a date is any time I'm out with someone, and we put the rest of life aside for a while. No phones, or work, or distraction. Simply time focused on the people involved."
She loved the answer, and felt satisfied with it.
Then I remembered one boy I used to work with. He was a bit younger than me, but was constantly worrying if she was viewing their time as dates, or if he should consider them that instead of just time hanging out, as if calling it a date was some serious ordeal.
And we stopped what we were doing, in the middle of work, and had a half hour long conversation, while sitting on the floor.
Why do we date?
To see if someone is compatible?
To strengthen a bond?
To get away from life?
To learn.
We're out with someone to learn about who they are. How they've changed, how they think, how they mesh with our own minds and lives. From there, we learn how the details of their minds, twisting together everyone involved into an intimate moment where we learn by looking at them without walls and masks and all the bullshit of everyday life.
And it doesn't matter if it is a romantic interest, or a friend, or a family member. It doesn't matter if you go somewhere super fancy, or take a walk in the woods, or simply go for a drive. So long as you let down those walls, and let someone look into who you are, you've gotten away from your everyday life, put aside all bullshit, and can learn about how they truly see you.
Dates are not about titles, and dressing up, and showing off. They're about learning who you trust. They're about learning who looks at you with all your flaws blindingly clear, and still sees you as being amazing. Don't worry who they are with, or when, or what you're doing. Just enjoy those intimate moments you get with the few people we all find in our lives who don't see our flaws as problems, but things that make us simply who we are.
"If two couples go out, it's a double date, and if you go out with a romantic prospect, it's a date, so what do you call it when a couple takes out a possible third?"
And I sat and thought about it, wondering why it needed to be that difficult. Why we needed to label our interactions with others, and figure out ways to classify everything we did in their own little piles.
My response to her was "It is a date. However, my answer may be a bit skewed compared to many you would ask. For me, a date is any time I'm out with someone, and we put the rest of life aside for a while. No phones, or work, or distraction. Simply time focused on the people involved."
She loved the answer, and felt satisfied with it.
Then I remembered one boy I used to work with. He was a bit younger than me, but was constantly worrying if she was viewing their time as dates, or if he should consider them that instead of just time hanging out, as if calling it a date was some serious ordeal.
And we stopped what we were doing, in the middle of work, and had a half hour long conversation, while sitting on the floor.
Why do we date?
To see if someone is compatible?
To strengthen a bond?
To get away from life?
To learn.
We're out with someone to learn about who they are. How they've changed, how they think, how they mesh with our own minds and lives. From there, we learn how the details of their minds, twisting together everyone involved into an intimate moment where we learn by looking at them without walls and masks and all the bullshit of everyday life.
And it doesn't matter if it is a romantic interest, or a friend, or a family member. It doesn't matter if you go somewhere super fancy, or take a walk in the woods, or simply go for a drive. So long as you let down those walls, and let someone look into who you are, you've gotten away from your everyday life, put aside all bullshit, and can learn about how they truly see you.
Dates are not about titles, and dressing up, and showing off. They're about learning who you trust. They're about learning who looks at you with all your flaws blindingly clear, and still sees you as being amazing. Don't worry who they are with, or when, or what you're doing. Just enjoy those intimate moments you get with the few people we all find in our lives who don't see our flaws as problems, but things that make us simply who we are.
Comments
Post a Comment