Selfregulating

I've mentioned before how few actual rules I have with Lux.  There are far more things I make into hard and fast rules for myself than he does, and he often doesn't think of them, because he doesn't feel the need to make them official rules himself.

Over last weekend, I had to remind him of one of those, because he was expecting something very different to happen.

For those not keeping up, Lux is the only person I've fucked for about a year and a half now.  The only person I've submitted to, and the only person I've bottomed to in the same amounts of time.  And even though there is not official vanilla relationship titles, we pretty much treat each other with the same respect as though they are there.

He told me after I had gotten home, that he'd expected to hear of me playing with others.  And then I had to get something very straight with him.

Up until this point, whenever there has been even the slightest idea that I'd be playing with someone else, I asked for permission first.  And I'm talking each time that chance was there.

That's not going to change.  He's in charge, and even if I don't have to, I'm going to ask.  I want to be sure he's comfortable with it, and if he has any specific things he needs in order to be comfortable with it.  I know he's generally fine with me topping, and even the slightest bit of submitting to someone else is not an option, so I can make plans with that much more easily.  In general though, I plan to always ask permission, whether it be sex, play, or whatever is involved.

And if I know he's asleep, it means the option is off the table, and that's cool.  If I don't get an answer, it means no.  Part of having an open dynamic is about about constant and thorough consent on all parts.  It's all about the respect of partners, and having everyone be happy and feeling safe for as long as they are meant to bring joy to your life.