I have trouble asking for things. Between being so service oriented, and my own past/family, I hate asking for anything, or even acknowledging that I have to ask for something. I don't want to turn this into a sad recollection of abuse though.
Every so often, to try and get myself more able to request things, I will ask for small tasks, to get things done more quickly, or just to provide some small comfort or aid. Even those I have to talk myself in to though. It's a project, and I'd almost rather just ignore it, or do it myself.
I recently told Lux I needed more time with him, and asked if we could either have more chance to talk, or see each other when we're not about to go to sleep, or forcing ourselves to keep from doing something else. Something that I understand is a basic thing in any relationship, and there are far worse issues to occur, but feeling the need to ask this, had me near tears. I hate the idea of feeling like I need to ask for things. Especially when he has so much going on, and now it's more on his shoulders. Time, no matter how it's spent, is something I need from partners. It's one of the biggest ways to show me affection, even if we're not snuggled up or fucking somewhere.
I did ask though, and after calming myself down from actually bringing it up, I can hope that good comes of it. At least it's proof for Lux that if anything does happen between us, I will bring it up.
I hope it works out favorably for you.
ReplyDeleteI do ask my Sir for small things, but when it came to asking for help, or asking for something I just wanted or craved but not needed, it was extremely difficult. Each time you do it makes it easier. Each time you are met with acceptance increases that trust.