A few days ago, someone I used to talk to contacted me again for the first time since I kicked out the gnome. We chatted for a bit, catching up, and just general bs.
She informed me that her marriage had fallen apart, due to lack of work on both their parts from the sound of it, but I could tell she was spinning it in a way that villainized him, and as of the beginning of summer, they were officially divorced.
She also said that on Halloween she's getting married again.
Now, I know that it takes at least 18 months to get a divorce in this state, but a span of two years isn't really enough to get mentally clear of your last relationship (which had to involve courts and custody and extra stuff due to their son) find someone, get through new relationship energy, then decide on, and plan a wedding.
We also know my opinion on weddings, but that's less valid here, this is just solid time logic.
I think it takes at least a year to figure out how you mesh with a person. You may not even make it that far, but if you aren't solid after going through all the holidays and birthdays and friends and family for one full year, it's not going to get better. And then you need to start considering if they're going to be the person you want to put up with for your entire life, before actually seeing if they feel the same.
And then I think about my own parents, who knew each other for a year and a half before being married. Not getting engaged, but being married. Which part of me actually thinks has had an effect on their emotional maturity, but I think I've discussed that before.
I think people assume that what they feel in the beginning of a relationship is what will last forever, and in the above person's case, likely didn't want to learn how to be herself again. Instead of taking time to learn to be themselves again, learning about a new partner, and seeing how they really fit in you life then seeing how you feel, there's this stigma for a significant other, and anything other than marriage is meaningless.
Give me someone who just makes the decision to stand by me every day, without any pressures or forcing.
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