I've had very similar conversations a few times in the last week, and once even in regards to this current trip to see Lux. It has to do with bratty behavior, and where the lines lie between healthy, being an asshole, and manipulation.
This is one of those things where I think being a switch gives me a bit of an advantage in knowing where those lines are, but I also try to be as respectful of people as possible, and keep track of their personal lines.
I have no problem saying that I'm a brat when it comes down to it. I sass people, cause trouble, make mischief, and press buttons. I however, see when someone is legitimately busy with something, and know when they don't have the personal bandwidth to deal with me poking. Adapting to situations, and respecting requests and being aware is part of being a decent partner, friend, and person.
It's easy to hit the point of being an asshole, or down right manipulating someone and trying to pass it off as playful bratting. Feeling justified in pulling someone from what they want to do, or need to do isn't fun. Continuing beyond the point of playful poking to where someone legitimately gets angry doesn't mean they can't handle having a brat, it means the other person doesn't respect lines. For me, it effectively becomes similar to a consent violation in many cases.
Likewise, using bratty behavior to replace communication isn't a healthy action. Being able to speak and share needs as well as be able to have the fun giving sass creates a healthy and trustful dynamic between any people.
It comes down to being receptive. Be aware of the people you're with, and share words as necessary, know the state of the people you're poking, and the places and times not to poke.
Being a brat is an exercise in awareness.
This is one of those things where I think being a switch gives me a bit of an advantage in knowing where those lines are, but I also try to be as respectful of people as possible, and keep track of their personal lines.
I have no problem saying that I'm a brat when it comes down to it. I sass people, cause trouble, make mischief, and press buttons. I however, see when someone is legitimately busy with something, and know when they don't have the personal bandwidth to deal with me poking. Adapting to situations, and respecting requests and being aware is part of being a decent partner, friend, and person.
It's easy to hit the point of being an asshole, or down right manipulating someone and trying to pass it off as playful bratting. Feeling justified in pulling someone from what they want to do, or need to do isn't fun. Continuing beyond the point of playful poking to where someone legitimately gets angry doesn't mean they can't handle having a brat, it means the other person doesn't respect lines. For me, it effectively becomes similar to a consent violation in many cases.
Likewise, using bratty behavior to replace communication isn't a healthy action. Being able to speak and share needs as well as be able to have the fun giving sass creates a healthy and trustful dynamic between any people.
It comes down to being receptive. Be aware of the people you're with, and share words as necessary, know the state of the people you're poking, and the places and times not to poke.
Being a brat is an exercise in awareness.
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