I made the mistake of looking at an article on the internet.
It talked about all the things that should happen in a healthy relationship, and, I found it angered me more than anything. It made claims that were so unrealistic, I knew it would do more harm than good to the world.
It talked about how when you have the right partner, there is no work, and you never disagree. That you never get nervous or second guess yourself.
All relationships take work. Every single one of them. Constant work, through good times, and through bad. And in those bad times, while we process things, it's normal to worry about your partner and how they're doing, or what you can do to help. It's going to be harder than others at some points, but it's never effortless.
Not only that, but no two people are exactly the same in every way. There's going to be some things people disagree on. That's what makes us all unique and dynamic beings. Looking at it and being open to discussion is what makes it healthy, and knowing what things you need to hold on to tightly, and being able to express that is what's important.
Articles like that create these expectations of hunting after a perfect picture. That we can throw people away who may be healthy for us, because they have some superficial flaw.
And, those small things aren't what we should throw away, but learn that they are part of the greater, and more amazing person than any attempt at perfection could ever be.
It talked about all the things that should happen in a healthy relationship, and, I found it angered me more than anything. It made claims that were so unrealistic, I knew it would do more harm than good to the world.
It talked about how when you have the right partner, there is no work, and you never disagree. That you never get nervous or second guess yourself.
All relationships take work. Every single one of them. Constant work, through good times, and through bad. And in those bad times, while we process things, it's normal to worry about your partner and how they're doing, or what you can do to help. It's going to be harder than others at some points, but it's never effortless.
Not only that, but no two people are exactly the same in every way. There's going to be some things people disagree on. That's what makes us all unique and dynamic beings. Looking at it and being open to discussion is what makes it healthy, and knowing what things you need to hold on to tightly, and being able to express that is what's important.
Articles like that create these expectations of hunting after a perfect picture. That we can throw people away who may be healthy for us, because they have some superficial flaw.
And, those small things aren't what we should throw away, but learn that they are part of the greater, and more amazing person than any attempt at perfection could ever be.
I find most of those memes to be wrong, and be widely shared by those who are ill-educated and looking for a quick fix. It's not them, they just havent found the right person. They don't want to put in that work!
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