A New Devious Chapter

Lux and I have had a plan for a particular scene for a while.  He wanted to have me suspended as a punching bag, and then turn it into an impact scene.  Needless to say, I had no issue with any part of this idea.  We just needed to take time to figure things out with blood pooling, and time restrictions and such for safety. Well, one night at Pennsic, while we're all sitting in the dojo, Lux asks if I am up for doing it.  He ran it past a friend to rig me up, and everything was good. The dojo was crowded, but I went up.  Lux started punching me, and jokes started being made.  At one point, I wound up completely lifting myself upright in laughter.  People commented about endorphins being built up soon, and such things. At one point, since all my weight was on one wrap around my hips, the rope dug in so much that I needed to be shifted.  I wound up with raw spots after the fact, so I definitely needed to move.  The scene continued beyond ...

Lux and I don't usually blatantly express how we feel about each other.  We generally just keep a healthy dynamic, include the other in things, and try to make the other feel cared for in our everyday gestures. I am in general more affectionate than him, and even that isn't terribly much.  I often worry if he feels uncomfortable with me being more vocal or open about how I feel than he is.  Usually, I remind myself that he should feel cared for, and to use that affection as affirmation of that. Lux however, very rarely if ever shows blatant affection.  It's sometimes a bit unnerving, because I don't know how he feels, even though I know he wouldn't include me in as much of his life as he does if he didn't care for me. Over those weeks that we had time together though, there were lots of little affirming moments though.  Things that he probably didn't realize he did, or how much I appreciated it. Things like expressing a dislike of him existing withou...

One of the nice things about camping with this group is that they know a bit about our dynamic.  They also very respectfully acknowledge that I'm a switch, and just as much a sadist as I am a masochist. They don't know a lot of the finer details though, and it leads to some moments that are a little funnier for Lux and I, albeit a bit awkward. Things like being around other submissives who are looking at doing something for their partner, and asking what Lux needs, then they look at me like I'm supposed to do it, the way I did earlier.  Except that time I was also doing something for myself as well, and Lux had to take care of something else.  Lux still is becoming more comfortable with service when he isn't busy, and prefers to do for himself.  He also doesn't like not knowing how to do something himself, even if he will have it done for him when someone else is there.  So here I am being looked at, while Lux is getting up to do for himself, and I am lookin...

I'm back from Pennsic, and somewhat back to a normal routine. The last few weeks have been a whirlwind. Lux came down the weekend before Pennsic.  He had to travel for work, and so he brought his gear down early, so I could do any repairs, finish packing, and the like, while he was far away, without having to keep his gear in the truck for a week.  That weekend went fairly smoothly, and it was good to have the time with him.  Early in the morning, he left for a flight, and was down in Florida for most of the week.  The plan was, for him to return Thursday, so we could have Friday to clean, pack the truck, and relax before driving out Saturday morning. Well, weather decided that wasn't happening, and after many delays, he had to catch a flight Friday morning.  While watching the tracker for that flight, it literally looked like a toddler scribbling on the east coast to show where they were going.  I was a panic, but apparently Lux was fairly calm....

Almost two months ago, I finally did it. In a fit of horny rage, I told Lux I needed to pull the trigger and get a first dildo.  Something I'd said on and off for years, but never did.  The fact that I didn't masturbate at all up until that point just made it fall to the wayside. But I told him, and I asked him if he could pick out and get it for me, since he knew far more about what he was looking at than I did. Well, after throwing a few ideas around, he got one, and brought it to me a few days later. We haven't used it together yet, but I have used it by myself a few times, and I think it's been enough to give me some sort of an idea, at least for a solo thing. So, I have no real desire to cum, no matter how horny I am, or if I'm with a partner. And, unfortunately, that leaves me without much of a goal when I use a dildo.  It doesn't feel bad perse, but I just kind of wonder when to stop.  There's nothing else there to keep me interested, and ...

While at Fusion, and a few times since, I've had a lot of requests for new classes, or making offshoots to classes I teach. That means developing a lot of new things over the coming months, and while some of these are still physical movement classes which I get compliments on my teaching methods, it also means developing lectures, which I'm not so used to presenting. It's interesting, thinking about making the notes for these classes.  Learning to fill an hour plus of lecture, without breaks for practice or drills, is not something I have a lot of experience with. This is something I wanted though.  I had wanted to start presenting in the kink scene, and bringing new information in that doesn't seem to be present in most classes. The whole class creation thing is a bit of a project.  For my movement classes, it isn't hard to just go through my vocabulary, apply relevance, and make a list of things to cover what I want.  There are often times when I have to t...

Right after I got home from my visit with Dansa, Lux asked if we could hang out on voice for an evening, just to hang out.  We've been doing that a lot more lately, just so he has more contact with people, and because it's been nice to have that change in communication. He mentioned, almost as though he expected it to be dismissed, that he had been thinking about more serious role driven play.  Not necessarily scenarios, but a less silly, level and casual sort of play than we normally have. For a long time, I kept really quiet about this exact thing.  Lux was processing a lot, and working through a lot of issues regarding these things from past partners, or people pushing for things he wasn't comfortable, and making him feel pressured,  left unconsidered, and that he didn't have any control, despite being the domly person.  I tried to encourage him to work through these things for him, and not bringing up what I wanted, to keep him from thinking I was just b...

With me feeling much more toppy than normal, Lux and I have a lot of the same worries lately.  That someone will either make a false claim about us, or miscommunicate, or something will happen, and we'll both be thrown down the hole of consent violators, unable to say anything because of his appearance, and my lack of visible credibility as a top. We talk about how we don't want to get lax enough have that become a chance. That we're worried with any new person we play with, or would potentially play with. We also talk about precautions we take with each other.  Either being present for the other's scenes as an extra set of eyes. How we will call out any bad habits we see forming, even when together, and encourage the good ones to stay, and grow. Sometimes, being a safe partner is a team effort, and that's why we can't leave these things to ourselves.  We need to know where we slip, even if accidentally, and even if just for a second. It's someth...

This weekend we leave for Pennsic! I have to say, this one has been hard to prep for.  It's been a project to pack, and get organized.  I've had adventures get in the way, and plans in flux that made things difficult. However, I'm excited to teach, and wander around, and work on new things, and see people, and a thousand other things. I've done a lot in the last month to get ready, including helping Lux get organized amongst everything going on.  Which, that's been a thing as well.  I've been trying to stay present for him while he's getting used to a new job, and needs more contact with people.  It's been a lot of sewing, and yarn work, and crochet, and drawing, and packing, and organizing and a ton of other things to get here. But this will be a very different Pennsic for us.  Just like the rest of summer, which has had a lot of new things and firsts for us. It's time for an adventure!