How Convenient

 I had a moment on the way to my vaccine appointment that should have been telling of what would happen in the days after.  Time that showed me exactly why I feel the way I do about my parents.

While sitting in the car, she's telling me about some of her customers from that morning, and earlier in the week.  At one point she tries to make something sound like a scandal, as she tells me about one woman, whose daughter at fourteen said that she had a boyfriend and wanted to go onto birth control.  I think she expected me to be aghast, and beside myself in disgust, but I was rather unaffected.

I told her that it was a good thing that she felt comfortable going to her mother to ask for birth control.  Mentioned that she may not actually be doing anything yet, but that it could be very responsible of her to want to go onto something now, rather than once she's already having sex.  

I also mentioned that she may have other reasons for asking, and reminded her about how I asked her to go to the doctor for years because of how much pain I was in during my periods.  Not only was she unresponsive to my reasons for supporting the daughter, but she tried to flat out deny that statement.  I didn't let her, and instead pushed on how I asked her for over half a decade, and each time she told me that she had to find a new gynecologist, and that she didn't want to have to get an exam herself.  She audibly scoffed at me, refusing to believe what I said, and conveniently forgetting again, how she's continued to treat me throughout my life.   

It reminded me of something from when I was with Thrax, because I had told him about this back then, and he said "So, if your mom wasn't a shitty coward, [Squishy] wouldn't be here," and he was right.  I would have gone onto birth control and had a consistent routine for it for my own health, and because I still would have used condoms for safety, I doubt I would have ever gotten pregnant.

And yea, she's a coward.  She was afraid of a possibly uncomfortable exam, to the point where she didn't take care of her child's health. She pushed it aside for so long that she could ignore the asking for help ever happening, and then try to gaslight that child, than face her inaction.

Abuse.  On abuse.  On abuse.

And when the same situation has happened so many times, and the same response so many times, it might just mean that all those things aren't stories being made up, but things that actually happened, and that they need to face.