Last Minute Reconnection

 I'm pretty sure I mentioned a beach episode a couple of weeks ago, and looking forward to it for a myriad of reasons.  That I had wanted to take advantage of a long weekend, see Lux after not getting to for a couple of months, and have a good reset.  He unfortunately hasn't been feeling well though, and couldn't join us, so we decided to postpone.

And so I was left with a long weekend and no plans.

I poked around a little, to no avail, trying to find a way to take advantage of this time, and enjoy some company.

Meanwhile, a Puppy friend of mine and I have been slowly talking more over the last year.  We had a falling out due to things that happened on both our parts, which caused us to have a divide for a good while.  He's also had a hell of a year, with going through a hard breakup with someone who fucked him over mentally, got injured and needed surgery, started juggling both school and work, and just recently is dealing with loss.  I've tried to be more present with him lately, because he needed the support.

So, I threw out fairly last minute the idea of spending the weekend at his place, and while nervous about it, we agreed, with the understanding of no massive adventures, and that he would have homework to do.

I ran it by Lux, to make sure he was comfortable with things, and the next morning repacked what I had started to throw together from what I had put aside for my beach trip.  I got through the day, feeling anxious, but happy to try and reform what used to be a solid friendship.

And oof, that many years away made for a bit of an awkward first night in some ways.  He was overly careful around me, afraid to touch outside of a few hugs, tried to stop innuendo, and cautious with his words.  We were awake far too late, catching up, telling stories, and being silly.  Only a couple hours from sunrise, and we were trying to figure out sleeping arrangements.  He wanted me to have the bed because I was a guest, and I wasn't about to let him cram himself (he's taller than Lux, with shoulders just as broad) onto the couch.  We were adults, and with how careful he was, as well as how safe I've always been with him, I knew he wouldn't try anything that we weren't both comfortable with.

At one point in the night he flopped over on me, and I thought about tossing him off the bed until he started snoring in my ear, and I realized what had happened.  He got frazzled about it the next morning (actually mid afternoon because of how late we got moving) when we spoke about it.  When he would partially wake up and stretch, he would actually stop himself because he was nervous to touch me.

After waking up, we went about the things we needed to do for the morning, and while I was getting dressed, heard a sound that had me worried.  A few seconds later, I heard it again and realized he was done with work, and getting to the workout he had said he wanted to do.  By the time that I was done putting myself together, I opened the door to the bathroom, and across the hall saw him going after the heavy bag in his office.  Naturally, I used the opportunity to ogle him for a few seconds, before putting my things away and moving on.  When I told him about it later in the day, he legitimately seemed elated at the positive attention, after not getting any for at least the last year, if not more.

It was around that point where we both relaxed.  Almost like knocking that barrier down of where we needed to be careful, and we could simply be again.  Suddenly there was physical contact in conversation, and we could giggle like teenage girls, being excited about all sorts of things.  By the end of the night we were snuggling again like we used to, and he said he was far more comfortable than he could remember being in a long time.

In many ways, it inadvertently turned into exactly what he needed after so long, to start taking steps in truly getting back to him.  And I got to rebuild a friendship that used to be incredibly important to me.  I took a great deal of insight on the entire weekend, learning about where he's at now compared to where he used to be, and the healthiest friendship we can have.  He went from intending to live like a hermit to talking about all the places near him that he wants to visit with me.

I would have loved to have spent the weekend with Lux, and still miss him so much and want to see him soon, but I'm also so glad I took the chance on last weekend.